


Just Strangers

by itwilleatyourbabies



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Abusive Relationship (past), Alternate Universe - Politics, Elections, F/F, F/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Warning: Donald Trump, cursing, ex-fiances, governor's race, homophobia in future chapters, republicans being gross
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-23 01:12:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11392245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itwilleatyourbabies/pseuds/itwilleatyourbabies
Summary: Shea Coulee is supposed to be a fashion designer, NOT an assistant campaign manager, but when she finds herself out of school with no job, she's forced to take a position working for Trinity Taylor-- just in time for the election, with a cute boss, a lot of events to go to, and a secretary that won't stop calling everybody "sis," Shea realizes that maybe, just maybe, she's exactly where she's supposed to be.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, here we go! I'm back at it again with a new chaptered fic, and I'm super duper excited! In this, Sasha is a campaign manager for Trinity Taylor, who's running for New York governor, Shea ends up being her assistant, and madness ensues.  
> Hopefully, I'll be able to get out an update every week, but I wouldn't swear to it.  
> Also, I am writing Sasha's perspective of "To Be Alive" but it's being very difficult, so that could still be awhile.  
> *This is also published on artificialqueens.tumblr.com under the name "panic"  
> Without further ado, Enjoy (and please leave kudos and comments)!  
> -Panic

 

 

“The world works in mysterious ways, Shea-baby.” Shea’s mom would whisper to her at night, right before she went to bed, snuggled away in her pink sheets, the sounds of Chicago echoing outside her bedroom as her mom placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. Even then,  Shea had never believed her,  she didn’t believe the world worked in a specific way, it just  _ did _ , it just  _ was _ . Too Shea, the world didn’t exist for any single person, or idea, or event, the world just existed because it could. 

But Shea still nodded along when her mother spoke. Wishing desperately that the world would just know what she needed, what she wanted, and would plop those things down right in front of her… fate. Sure, there were times when Shea thought that fate might be real. When she received her letter from the New School for Design in New York City, Shea’s heart felt like it was going to burst, her dream of designing clothes was inches away from her face and it felt right, it felt like this was where Shea was meant to be her whole life; it felt like… fate. 

That is until it wasn’t anymore. It felt like fate until Shea was twenty-three and out of college, struggling to keep her Lower East Side apartment while she job hunted in the fashion industry. It felt like fate until she was buying value brand items at grocery stores and seldom touching her laundry because she couldn’t afford to do it. It felt like fate until the dream of New York City had turned into a nightmare. 

She thought about going back to Chicago, spending more time at home, and planning her next move from there. Shea tried to convince herself that “her next move” was designing gowns until the right person picked her up, but she was quickly realizing that “her next move” was more along the lines of, what the fuck does one do with a fashion degree? 

But Shea was fierce, Shea was strong, and Shea was not going to admit defeat to this magical city just because she hadn’t found her footing in fashion. So here she was, on a crowded subway at 8:30 am, on her way to Civic Center, to interview for an assistant campaign manager position for Trinity Taylor-- a Democrat running for New York governor. 

Although a job in politics was never Shea’s plan, she had considered herself quite an activist for many minority groups in her high school and college years, and after the election of The Orange Demon, in 2016, Shea concluded the politics were her only chance at making money from resistance. So she searched, she searched for any political job she could get her hands on, and for awhile, it seemed like nothing was there. Until she sat down and emailed Mrs. Taylor herself.

To Whom it may concern,

   My name is Shea Coulee, and I am a twenty-three-year-old female who is looking for a job in the political field. I recently graduated from college and was wondering if you had positions that were available. I have attached my Cover Letter below if you are interested. 

Thank you for your time.

   Shea Coulee. 

...

If she was honest, Shea didn’t expect anything from it. 

…

Two days later, nothing

… 

One week later, nothing. 

…

“Even just an email saying ‘no’ would have been better” Shea muttered. 

   …

   Almost two weeks had passed, and Shea was starting to give up when an email came in. She checked it, almost with her eyes closed.

   Ms. Coulee- 

   Mrs. Taylor would love if we could schedule an interview with you. We’re desperate for the help and have a few paying positions available. How does this coming Monday at 9:00 am work? 

   - Aja Storms, secretary to Mrs. Trinity Taylor

Shea was giddy! An interview had to be better than nothing, right? 

   And so she was here, walking up to an oddly shaped building, sort of like an L, there’s a small picnic area out front, and the gate was propped open by a rock, pushing into the gate, Shea approached a locked door.  praying that she would be able to land any sort of job. Straightening her dress she rang the bell and admired her appearance in the glass. Her shiny black hair was slicked straight back, and she had gone with a simple pink, off the shoulder sweater dress that reached about mid thigh. She paired it with a chunky belt and strappy gold heels. At first, she considered it being “too much” but upon looking through her closet, she realized it was decked out for a fashion designer-- not a politician, and this was the best she was able to do. 

A nasal cough shook Shea out of her thoughts. She glanced around to find out where the sound was coming from before realizing that a cough had come from a small box placed slightly above the door bell. 

“State your name and business.” The box spoke again. 

“Shea Coulee. I’m here for an interview?” Her voice was shaking, why was she nervous? She would kill this interview, she knew that much for sure. 

The box never replied Shea’s only response was the clicking of a door. Grabbing the door, Shea pulled and entered and was immediately faced with a desk.     The woman sitting at it was paying very little attention to Shea, which gave her a moment to check out her appearance. Her hair was a light lavender color and was curled in gentle waves around her face, it landed right on her shoulders and her pastel blue blazer that she wore, barely covering the gages that sat in her ears. Upon noticing Shea, she flipped her chair around to face her. 

“You must be Shea, right?” She started. Shea noticed immediately that she had to be from Brooklyn, the accent gave it away, it was clear as day. Shea nodded.

“Alright sis, I’m Aja, we’ve emailed,  I’m just going to walk you to Mrs. Taylor’s assistant and she’ll go ahead interview you, kay?” Once again, Shea nodded.  Aja stood up, and Shea immediately noticed her impossibly high heels. Aja leads her into a large, exposed brick room filled to the brim with mismatched couches and chairs of yellow, gray, orange, and black.  A few tables cluttered with empty doughnut boxes and messy paperwork. The room was unnecessarily warm and filled with people, laptops propped on laps, somewhere laughing, some were chewing. And some were dead silent. Aja zig-zagged Shea through the maze of the chairs and papers. Finally taking her by a desk, where a small blonde woman was squealing over her ridiculous piles of paper, muttering to herself. “Why did we spend this much on shirts? Why in the fuck did we spend this much on shirts?” Turning into a separate hallway, Shea noticed four doors, two on the left, one door closed, the other propped slightly open. On the left, another door was closed, but a large window showed that the room inside was a conference room.  A final door was at the end of the hallway, a sparkling nameplate read “Trinity Taylor” right on the front. Aja lead Shea to the propped open door on the left, even though it was open, Aja still left a few short knocks before pushing her head in. “Hey, Pep? I have that girl you’re interviewing.” Aja whispered across the door. 

“Bring her in.” replied a voice on the other side of the door. Aja moved aside so Shea could enter. 

“Sorry Mrs. Taylor couldn’t interview you-- she’s busy, but her assistant will know what she looking for, so… uh… break a leg, sis.” Shea nodded, pushing her way into the office. 

It was light. A big window was opposite Shea and the multiple lamps around the desk and floor lightened up the room. On one side of the room, another door (this one, Shea noted, was closed and appeared to be locked) next to it was a shelf full of banker boxes, all tagged with things like “social media management- 2012, 2013,2014,2015” “Pride documents.” “Juneteenth documents.”  Right in front of the window was a desk chair and desk, situated so that the woman working was facing the door. Upon noticing Shea’s entrance, the woman stood to shake Shea’s hand. Her black hair fell in large curls to her shoulders, brushing against her clean white blazer. Shea grabbed her hand and was shocked by the large diamonds that decorated her fingers and wrist. 

“Hello,” her voice was light, soft, almost… motherly? Shea thought to herself as she shook the woman’s hand, “I’m peppermint, the assistant to Mrs. Trinity Taylor, and you are…?” She sat down, and Shea did so as well, finding herself in a very uncomfortable plastic chair, white-- like her surroundings. 

“I’m Shea, uhm, Shea Coulee, and I’m, int-interested in a job here?” Shea cursed herself for sounding so uncertain. Peppermint laughed.

“No need to sound nervous, doll-- I’ll be honest with you, we’re so desperate for help around here, this interview is almost entirely for formality sake, it’ll be fine.” Her words reassured Shea, whether it was her actual speech or her calming voice Shea didn’t know, probably some combination thereof, before she could speak, Peppermint continued, “If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your background in?” 

“Fashion design. I just finished school this last May.” Peppermint smiled and clicked her pen a few times before writing Shea’s words down a notepad. 

“Alright, Ms. Coulee, what started your interest in politics?” Shea held back rueful laughter.

“I was always interested in the social change aspect of politics throughout high school and college, but if I’m completely honest- I’m in desperate need of a job and this seemed like a good option.” Peppermint nodded. 

“I don’t think many people choose to go into politics, politics really chooses the people who are going to to be in it.” If Shea was honestly, she had little to no clue what Peppermint meant, but she nodded along anyway, partially to be polite, and partially because she really needed this fucking job. 

The interview continued like many do, Peppermint questioned her past work experience (she didn’t have much). Her five-year plan (she didn’t have one). How she would describe herself (strong, passionate, determined… she ignored the voice in her brain whispering “lonely” and “desperate”). Peppermint asked her weaknesses (sometimes she speaks without thinking, she’s quick to love or hate, she’s terrified of rats).  Her strengths (She’s resilient, brave, and loyal). 

“Okay, okay, the last question,” Peppermint smiled, flashing rows of bright white teeth at Shea, “When can you start?” 

Shea let out a breath that she didn’t know she had been holding. 

“As soon as I can.” Peppermint nodded, and ripped a sticky note off of a pile, jotting down a couple of things. 

“Alright, we’re in desperate need of an assistant campaign manager-- ours does so much I’m constantly worried she’ll implode from stress, and I’m sure an assistant would really help her out.” Once again, Shea nodded, not entirely sure what a campaign manager did… or even what a campaign manager was. 

“You can start tomorrow, you’ll spend your first week following her around, learning the ropes of what the job entails, and then you can get to work. The work day starts at around eight am, and ends at about five pm, in theory, it’s only Monday through Friday but we often spend weekends and nights doing events, parades, and things of that sort. Sound good?” 

“Sounds like information overload.” Shea let out a nervous laugh and Peppermint joined her, her laughter booming across the office. She smiled, at Shea and took her hand.

“It’s not easy, but it’s rewarding. I have a feeling that you’re going to do great. And don’t worry, your boss is the best,” Peppermint walked to the door, and held it open so Shea could exit, “actually… do you want to go ahead a meet her before you go?” Shea nodded. She didn’t know what to expect, but to have even an inkling of an idea of the people around her would be nice. 

   Peppermint scooted past Shea and walked into the hallway before motioning for Shea to join her. Together, they walked to the closed door next to Pepper’s. Peppermint raised her fist to the door to knock before stopping not even an inch from the dark wood of the surface.

   “Just a warning,” Peppermint whispered, lowering her hand, “She really is great, but it’s pride season and Juneteenth season and if I’m honest… she’s super stressed out right now so please, just be kind.” 

   “Of course!” Shea whispered back, smiling at Peppermint, who seemed relieved at her words. Peppermint, like Aja, only knocked on the door a few times, and the opened it without a response. 

   “Sasha?” Pepper spoke slow, like she was trying not to startle a young child, “We just hired your assistant, and I’m assuming you’d like to meet?” She heard another girl respond; and, the shuffling of papers, but from her place behind Peppermint, Shea couldn’t quite make out the words. Peppermint nodded and stepped slightly inside the office, leaving room for Shea to enter as well.

   This office was the exact opposite of Peppermint’s. The walls had been painted a pastel yellow color,  filled with art prints that Shea had never seen before, as well as large pieces of poster paper that were filled with names and dates. A calendar hung loosely on the wall next to the desk, at least eight different colors decorated the days with writing.  Succulents sat on a dust coated window sill, a small, but empty picture frame in the middle of it all. The right wall was entirely made up of bookcases, they held large, heavy looking textbooks, dark black bindings with multiple editions that looked straight-up terrifying. Binders sat on another shelf and Shea could make out the neat cursive tags that read “finances” “Juneteenth” “Pride” “Support Cards” “Support Info” “Possible Debate Topics” “Maps” “Supported Areas” “Data Entry.” 

   In the middle of the room sat a large, L-shaped desk, the side that sat up against the wall was covered in neatly organized piles, binder clipped together, with similar tags as sat on the binders on the opposite wall. The shelves above had boxes of granola bars and nut packets, as well as a few coffee cups and water bottles. The desk that was facing Shea, however, was a little more hectic. A few roughly organized piles of paper sat scattered around, a half empty coffee cup sitting on top of one of them. A laptop sat on another pile, and a couple of gray T-shirts were folded next to a pile of cards that said “I Trust Trinity Taylor” on the back. At the center of all this madness, sat a woman at a desktop computer, typing frantically until she had heard Shea enter the room. 

   She looked up from her work and stood up from her desk chair as she reached out the shake Shea’s outstretched hand. 

   “Sasha Velour.” She introduced herself, she sounded out of breath. 

   “Shea Coulee,” Shea responded taking in the sights of her new boss. She stood, probably just a few inches shorter than Shea. Her hair was a bright blonde color cut like a bob and ended at her chin. She greeted Shea with large blue eyes, rimmed with thick, round, cherry red glasses,  as she motioned for her to sit in one of the chairs that faced the desk. As Sasha worked her way around to sit next to her, Shea was able to get a better look at her appearance, she wore a knee-length black pencil skirt and red pumps with a stark black turtleneck. She flashed a bright smile at Shea through her ruby red lips, and in the moment, Shea swore she could feel her heartbeat in her throat. Entranced by her soon to be boss’s lips,  she didn’t even notice as Peppermint quietly excuse herself from the room. 

   “I know you probably just went through a crazy interrogation with Pepper, but I’ve got to ask-- what inspired you to go into politics?” Her voice was deep, inviting, almost… comforting? 

   “I’ve always been really interested in social change, I guess, and my planned career path wasn’t working out so here I am.” Sasha laughed and nodded.

   “Understandable. I came here to become an artist,” Sasha gestured vaguely to the art around the walls as she spoke, “but, making a career in the art world didn’t seem too likely after a while. Thank god I got my degree in political science.” Now it was Shea’s turn to laugh and nod.

   “Wish I had been that smart, my degree is in fashion design, I have no idea what to do with that.” Sasha gave her a sympathetic smile.

   “Well, working for Trinity is honestly amazing, and I’m super excited for your help! June is such a stressful month.” 

   “Totally! If I’m honest, I have no idea what campaign managers do, but I’m excited to find out.” Shea chuckled. 

   “There are days where I have no idea what campaign managers do, but mostly I work on data entry, making sure we know who’s donating, keeping track of volunteers, planning events, making sure Trinity knows when she goes to events and handling social media and press. Some parts are more fun the others.” Shea nodded, at a loss for any sort of words. 

   “That’s… a lot.” She finally said. Sasha laughed as she stood up. 

   “Yeah, well, it’s basically whatever needs to be done in order to be prepared,” She offered her hand to Shea, “but anyways, I’ll walk you out? It’ll be a busy day tomorrow.” Shea nodded gratefully and took Sasha’s outstretched hand. 

   They made a little more small talk as they exited the building, only stopping so Sasha could say a few words to Aja. 

   Sasha, Shea concluded, was definitely going to be an interesting boss. She wasn’t much older the Shea, only twenty-five, and up until recently, she had been living with her (now ex) fiance. Shea told her a few things about herself too, about how she was from Chicago but didn’t really want to move back home. Sasha understood that and told her how she was originally from Urbana. Once they had made it outside, Sasha shook Shea’s hand again and reminded her that work started around eight am, but if she was later, nobody would really be angry (“we all know the traffic fucking sucks, here.” She had told Shea with a laugh). As Shea departed, she knew one thing was for sure: 

_    She had no idea what the hell she had gotten herself into.  _


	2. Chapter 0.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little teaser chapter.  
> WARNING: This chapter starts off with a dubious consent scene, if that makes you uncomfortable, the scene ends at the ~*~ marking, but there will still be a little (not graphic) mention of domestic abuse in the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So here I am with what I would call a semi-update, basically, I'm going to be away at camp for the next two weeks, but I didn't want to totally leave all my readers hanging on this fic, so I thought I would post the (entirely) unedited first 2k words of what will eventually be chapter 1! This is by no means a complete chapter or even a finished section of the chapter, but I thought it would be nice for me to give you a little something.  
> WARNING: This chapter starts off with a dubious consent scene, if that makes you uncomfortable, the scene ends at the ~*~ marking, but there will still be a little (not graphic at all) mention of past domestic abuse in the chapter.  
>  Also, I'm working on a Sasha/Johnny fic bc they're goals as fuxk, I'm posting it on aq when it's done, but if you'd like to see it here too let me know!  
> Enjoy!  
> -Panic (artificialpanic.tumblr.com)

“Ah come on baby,” he cooed as he stroked her thigh, “don’t you want to take care of me?” He reached forward, ignoring her flinch, to move a piece of her hair back, tilting her chin forward until the smaller girl met his eyes.   
“Don’t you trust me?” She wanted to yell out but all she could do was nod her head. He smiled at that, revealing sharp teeth, and bloodthirsty eyes. He moved his hands down to roughly grab her breasts, leaning forward a placing a kiss at the nape of her neck, biting the skin that he had his lips around. He ignored how tense her body was as he pushed her to her knees in front of him.   
He removed his hands from her as he went down to unbuckle his belt. With his hands off of her, she tried to tuck into herself, her mind blank as she tried to forcibly put herself into her happy place, but all she could feel were his hands on the back of her head. “It’ll be over soon” she whispered to herself, her body on total autopilot as she felt the head of his cock slide into her mouth.   
She let him take control, it was easier that way. She allowed him to hold onto her hair like it was the handlebars of a bicycle and he was just learning how to ride, it was less painless that way, to just let him use her, she wouldn’t get hurt that way. He forced her out of her thoughts and back into her current situation.   
“Look at me, babygirl’ She forced her eyes open and upward to make eye contact with the man directly in front of her, laughing as he hit her gag reflex, causing her to choke a little.  
“You look, beautiful baby, so beautiful when you can’t talk.” He chuckled at his own joke before forcing himself to the back of her throat again. She felt her eyes water as she struggled for air under his touch, it feels like hours before he removed himself from her throat, and even then, she can still taste him in her mouth. It all feels so.... Dirty. He mutters as quick “I love you baby” as he leaves. She can hear the front door shut, and all she can do is collapse to the floor-- is this really what love was supposed to feel like?   
~*~  
Sasha woke with a start. She was covered in a cold sweat and she could feel her heartbeat pounding in her ears. She glances around frantically, like a scared deer. Quickly, she flipped on her bedside table and glanced around. Reminding herself that she lived alone, she looked to the other side of the bed, to the place where he once laid and reminds herself that she is alone now. That it’s over, that it’s all over.   
It hadn’t always been that way. When she first met Liam it had been great, he had held her hand and helped her get her start in New York City. At the time she had been so sure that they were soulmates, and one day they would get married and have kids and everything would be perfect.   
She didn’t really remember when things start to get bad. It started small at first, he would insult her, or get a little rough with her during sex, but it always ended in an array of apologies and gifts. He would bring her flowers, or take her to a nice dinner, and he always told her how it would never happen again, how he was trying to change and he wanted to be better for her; and she was so in love that she believed him. She was blind sighted by him, even when their fights got bigger and he got meaner, she wanted to believe that he still loved her. So she tried to ignore the bad. When he had finally asked her to marry him she responding with a resounding “yes!” Because she thought marriage would make it all better.   
Eventually, Trinity noticed that something was off about Sasha. She didn’t remove her blazer, even in the middle of summer, even though their office had no air conditioning. She stopped coming to office meetups and nights out at local bars. She cornered Sasha about it in her office one day, and Sasha was honest with her.  
“Things aren’t great right now, Trin, but he’s trying to be better.” Trinity looked… disappointed, almost, with this confession.   
“Sasha, I’m not going to tell you what to do,” Trinity placed a hand on Sasha’s shoulder, ignoring the flinch, “But you’re such a strong, intelligent, absolutely phenomenal person, you don’t need him.”   
“He loves me, Trinity.” Trinity sighed at that.   
“You think he loves you, but do you love him? Or do you love the thought of him?” When Sasha didn’t respond, Trinity turned to leave her office, but before she left, she looked at Sasha and whispered.  
“If you keep trying to see the best in everybody, Sash, it’s going to kill you.”   
Trinity was right.  
Trinity was always right.   
Two days later, Sasha showed up to the office with a duffle bag in one hand. She walked into Trinity’s office and sighed loudly, not maintaining any eye contact with the woman in front of her.  
“Can I…. Stay at your place for a while?” Her voice was rough, and barely came out as a hoarse whisper, Trinity eyed her curiously; tilting her head sideways, Trinity asked after a silent moment.   
“Of course you can, but why?” Sasha looked up for the first time since she entered the office, and Trinity could see that she had been crying. Her eyes were bloodshot and she looked tired, biting her lip she finally whispered.  
“I broke up with him.” Trinity quickly stood up and walked around the desk to put her arms around Sasha, who leaned her head into her chest and willed herself not to cry, but she failed miserably, loud sobs forced herself from her chest as she leaned into Trinity’s touch. Trinity noticed that she no longer wore her diamond engagement right on her fourth finger.  
“I’m so proud of you Sasha, I know it hurts,” Sasha nodded, “but you did the right thing and I am so, so proud of you.”   
Pulling herself out of her covers, Sasha checked the clock, 4:30 am. Knowing she wasn’t going to get any more sleep, She pushed herself out of bed and walked over to her bathroom.   
Her apartment wasn’t big, barely a studio in the middle of Brooklyn, but at least she was finally alone. She stripped out her sweaty clothes and turned on the water, stepping in, even though the water was too hot and burned her back, she didn’t move. She felt alive as she ran hot water through her short blonde locks, washing it thoroughly with shampoo before adding a tiny bit of conditioner. She washed, admiring her creamy white skin, she felt a sense of pride in the know there were no more bruises, no angrier red patches of skin to scream at her. Washing all the suds off her body, she stepped out of the shower and dried herself off, wrapped in her towel, she walked over to her closet and tried to pick what she was going to wear today. Finally, she decided on a blue pencil skirt and blazer combo that fit like a glove, it used to be her mother’s, and ever since she had passed away a few years ago, Sasha had held her suit close. She paired it with a simple pink tank top underneath and black heels before she set off on making her breakfast.   
An hour and a half later, She’s standing at a subway station, waiting for the 6:45 train that’ll take her to work. Sasha preferred the trains like this, they were still full of rush hour New Yorkers, but Sasha found that they were calmer than the later trains. People were less awake-- and thus, less able to be stressed. She looked around the station, a homeless man slept on a bench against a wall, right under a “no loitering sign,” a performer was setting up his music for the day, a couple other computers stood around her, checking watches and phones, some already talking to their bosses (she heard a few “sorry’s” “yes that’ll be in today's” and “do we need to lay them off’s”). A rat ran across a man’s foot. He didn’t notice, or if he did, he didn’t care too much.   
After what felt like hours, the train finally arrived, but, Sasha noted with a smile, it was actually on time for once. She managed to get a good spot on the train, sitting towards one of the doors and the train took off. Sasha watched as Brooklyn turned into Manhattan as she quickly approached Civic Center. Forty-five minutes later, Sasha steps off the train, and in a moment of contemplation turns right, to her favorite coffee shop, Ink! Instead of taking the normal left.  
Ink! Had always been her favorite coffee shop in New York City. She had discovered it a few days after she started college, and had immediately fallen in love with the sense of comfort that existed inside of the warm walls. She basked in the warm light and the smell of cinnamon and basil as she walked into the coffee shop. Making her way up to the counter, she smiled at the boy working.   
“Can I get one--” The thought of Shea popped into her head right then and realizing it was her first official day of work, Sasha rephrased herself, “--two! Can I get two of the medium almond lattes?” The guy nodded.  
“That’ll be $8.50” Sasha nodded, used to the ridiculous prices of the Center, handing over her debit card. After receiving her coffees she walked up to her office, pulling her key out of her pocket and unlocking the front door, not shocked to see that nobody else was in the office.   
Sasha unlocked the door to her office and pushed the door all the way open. She sat down at her desk and grabbed a legal pad that sat in front of her. “What do I need Shea to do today?” She mused to herself, realizing that whatever her work was, it should probably be light enough that Sasha didn’t scare her away. Searching her desk for her own to do list, she found the things that looked least scary, data entry? Plenty of it. Facebook messages? Have been cataloged in like a week. List of volunteers for the parade? Not made. Sasha figured that those things were probably enough for a day.   
Next, she logged into her computer as she heard the door unlock again, looking up, she saw Aja and Farrah walking in, “weird.” Sasha mused to herself, she was shocked that they were on time, let alone early. She immediately opened her email, just to make sure nothing else crazy had happened overnight. It was mainly the usual, journalist to reply too, bills she had to remind Farrah to pay, donors she had yet to thank.   
As the rest of the office began to trickle in, Sasha found herself getting increasingly nervous, she had never had an “assistant” before, and she had no idea what kind of boss she would be, but she couldn’t deny that she needed the help around the office, especially with everything going on in her personal life, and the month of June (which had quickly gone from Sasha’s favorite month to a month she dreaded all year round), always had her completely swamped. A quiet knock on her office door threw Sasha out of her thoughts, as she looked up. Shea. Sasha smiled at Shea while she gathered her thoughts.  
“Hi, Shea! You can come in.” Shea walked in, she looked tired, “Hello Sasha.” Shea smiled back at her, her smile was full of anxiety, Sasha understood that, and held out the coffee to Shea, “I figured that you might want one.” Shea nodded gratefully as she took the paper cup out of Sasha’s hands.


	3. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Sexual Assualt trigger warning at the beginning yo,**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhhh this took forever! I'm trying to write longer chapters and I underestimated how hard it would be, haha, but here it is the full chapter 1! I promise I'm not going to abandon this fic, it'll just take me awhile to get updates out, espically because I've just satarted my junior year of High School and I am suffering(tm)  
> Once again, all my work is also on tumblr under the name panic / artificialpanic  
> also, Sasha's ex plays a pretty large role in this story but I promise it isn't Johnny bc I respect their relationship and also I love Johnny with literally every part of my heart and soul? I met him at WOTC and he was so sweet so anyways not him bc he's a angel and Sasha's ex defintely is not.

“Ah come on baby,” he cooed as he stroked her thigh, “don’t you want to take care of me?” He reached forward, ignoring her flinch, to move a piece of her hair back, tilting her chin forward until the smaller girl met his eyes. 

“Don’t you trust me?” She wanted to yell out but all she could do was nod her head. He smiled at that, revealing sharp teeth, and bloodthirsty eyes. He moved his hands down to roughly grab her breasts, leaning forward a placing a kiss at the nape of her neck, biting the skin that he had his lips around. He ignored how tense her body was as he pushed her to her knees in front of him. 

He removed his hands from her as he went down to unbuckle his belt. With his hands off of her, she tried to curl into herself, her mind blank as she tried to forcibly put herself into her happy place, but all she could feel were his hands on the back of her head. “It’ll be over soon” she whispered to herself, her body on total autopilot as she felt the head of his cock slide into her mouth. 

She let him take control, it was easier that way. She allowed him to hold onto her hair like it was the handlebars of a bicycle and he was just learning how to ride, it was less painless that way, to just let him use her, she wouldn’t get hurt that way. He forced her out of her thoughts and back into her current situation. 

“Look at me, babygirl’ She forced her eyes open and upward to make eye contact with the man directly in front of her, laughing as he hit her gag reflex, causing her to choke a little.

“You look, beautiful baby, so beautiful when you can’t talk.” He chuckled at his own joke before forcing himself to the back of her throat again. She felt her eyes water as she struggled for air under his touch, it feels like hours before he removed himself from her throat, and even then, she can still taste him in her mouth. It all feels so.... dirty. He mutters as quick “I love you baby” as he leaves. She can hear the front door shut, and all she can do is collapse to the floor-- is this really what love was supposed to feel like? 

~*~

Sasha woke with a start. She was covered in a cold sweat and she could feel her heartbeat pounding in her ears. She glances around frantically, like a deer caught in headlights. Quickly, she flipped on her bedside table light and glanced around. Reminding herself that she lived alone, she looked to the other side of the bed, to the place where he once laid and reminds herself that she is alone now. That it’s over, that it’s all over. Her breathing began to slow. “In and out.” she thought as she allowed her breathing to come to a calm stop. 

It hadn’t always been that way. When she first met Liam it had been great, he had held her hand and helped her get her start in New York CIty. At the time she had been so sure that they were soulmates, and one day they would get married and have kids and everything would be perfect. 

She didn’t really remember when things start to get bad. It started small at first, he would insult her, or get a little rough with her during sex, but it always ended in an array of apologies and gifts. He would bring her flowers, or take her to a nice dinner, and he always told her how it would never happen again, how he was trying to change and he wanted to be better for her; and she was so in love that she believed him. She was blind sighted by him, even when their fights got bigger and he got meaner, she wanted to believe that he still loved her. So she tried to ignore the bad. When he had finally asked her to marry him she responding with a resounding “yes!” Because she thought marriage would make it all better. 

Eventually, Trinity noticed that something was off about Sasha. She didn’t remove her blazer, even in the middle of summer, even though their office had no air conditioning. She stopped coming to office meetups and nights out at local bars. She cornered Sasha about it in her office one day, and Sasha was honest with her.

“Things aren’t great right now, Trin, but he’s trying to be better.” Trinity looked… disappointed, almost, with this confession. 

“Sasha, I’m not going to tell you what to do,” Trinity placed a hand on Sasha’s shoulder, ignoring the flinch, from the younger woman,  “But you’re such a strong, intelligent, absolutely phenomenal person, and  you don’t need him.” 

“He loves me, Trinity.” Trinity sighed at that. 

“You think he loves you, but do you love him? Or do you love the thought of what he says he’ll become?” When Sasha didn’t respond, Trinity turned to leave her office, but before she left, she looked at Sasha and whispered.

“If you keep trying to see the best in everybody, Sash, it’s going to kill you.” 

Trinity was right.

Trinity was always right. 

Two days later, Sasha showed up to the office with a duffle bag in one hand. She walked into  Trinity’s office and sighed loudly, not maintaining any eye contact with the woman in front of her.

“Can I…. Stay at your place for a while?” Her voice was rough; like she hadn’t slept in weeks, and barely came out as a hoarse whisper, Trinity eyed her curiously; tilting her head sideways, Trinity asked after a silent moment. 

“Of course you can, but why?” Sasha looked up for the first time since she entered the office, and Trinity could see that she had been crying. Her eyes were bloodshot and surrounded by dark purple circles- she looked tired, biting her lip she finally whispered.

“I broke up with him.” Trinity quickly stood up and walked around the desk to put her arms around Sasha, who leaned her head into her chest and willed herself not to cry, but she failed miserably, loud sobs forced herself from her chest as she leaned into Trinity’s touch. Trinity noticed that she no longer wore her diamond engagement right on her fourth finger, but she didn’t say anything, instead, she pulled the girl closer and whispered. 

“I’m so proud of you Sasha, I know it hurts,” Sasha nodded, “but you did the right thing and I am so, so proud of you.” 

Pulling herself out of her covers, Sasha checked the clock, 4:30 am. Knowing she wasn’t going to get any more sleep, She pushed herself out of bed and walked over to her bathroom. 

Her apartment wasn’t big, barely a studio in the middle of Brooklyn, but at least she was finally alone. She stripped out her sweaty clothes and turned on the water, stepping in, even though the water was too hot and burned her back, she didn’t move. She felt alive as she ran hot water through her short blonde locks, washing it thoroughly with shampoo before adding a tiny bit of conditioner. She washed, admiring her creamy white skin, she felt a sense of pride in knowing there were no more bruises, no more angry red patches of skin to scream at her. Washing all the suds off her body, she stepped out of the shower and dried herself off, wrapped in her towel, she walked over to her closet and tried to pick what she was going to wear today. Finally, she decided on a blue pencil skirt and blazer combo that fit like a glove, it used to be her mother’s, and ever since she had passed away a few years ago, Sasha had held her suit close. She paired it with a simple pink tank top underneath and nude heels before she set off on making her breakfast. 

An hour and a half later, She’s standing at a subway station, waiting for the 6:45 train that’ll take her to work. Sasha preferred the trains like this, they were still full of rush hour New Yorkers, but Sasha found that they were calmer than the later trains. People were less awake-- and thus, less able to be stressed. She looked around the station, a homeless man slept on a bench against a wall, right under a “no loitering sign,” a performer was setting up his music for the day, a couple other comuters stood around her, checking watches and phones, some already talking to their bosses (she heard a few “sorry’s” “yes that’ll be in today's” and “do we need to lay them off’s”). A rat ran across a man’s foot. He didn’t notice, or if he did, he didn’t care too much. 

After what felt like hours, the train finally arrived, but, Sasha noted with a smile, it was actually on time for once. She managed to get a good spot on the train, sitting towards one of the doors and the train took off. Sasha watched as Brooklyn turned into Manhattan as she quickly approached Civic Center. Forty-five minutes later, Sasha steps off the train, and in a moment of contemplation turns right, to her favorite coffee shop, Ink! Instead of taking the normal left.

Ink! Had always been her favorite coffee shop in New York City. She had discovered it a few days after she started college, and had immediately fallen in love with the sense of comfort that existed inside of the warm walls. She basked in the warm light and the smell of cinnamon and basil as she walked into the coffee shop. Making her way up to the counter, she smiled at the boy working. 

“Can I get one--” The thought of Shea popped into her head right then and realizing it was her first official day of work, Sasha rephrased herself, “--two! Can I get two of the medium almond lattes?” The guy nodded.

“That’ll be $8.50” Sasha nodded, used to the ridiculous prices of the Center, handing over her debit card. After receiving her coffees she walked up to her office, pulling her key out of her pocket and unlocking the front door, not shocked to see that nobody else was in the office, she was always the first one in the office. 

Sasha unlocked the door to her office and pushed the door all the way open. She sat down at her desk and grabbed a legal pad that sat in front of her. “What do I need Shea to do today?” She mused to herself, realizing that whatever her work was, it should probably be light enough that Sasha didn’t scare her away. Searching her desk for her own to do list, she found the things that looked least scary, data entry? Plenty of it. Facebook messages? Have been cataloged in like a week. List of volunteers for the parade? Not made. Sasha figured that those things were probably enough for a day. 

Next, she logged into her computer as she heard the door unlock again, looking up, she saw Aja and Farrah walking in, “weird.” Sasha mused to herself, she was shocked that they were on time, let alone early. She immediately opened her email, just to make sure nothing else crazy had happened overnight. It was mainly the usual, a journalist or two to reply to, bills she had to remind Farrah to pay, donors she had yet to thank. 

As the rest of the office began to trickle in, Sasha found herself getting increasingly nervous, she had never had an “assistant” before, and she had no idea what kind of boss she would be, but she couldn’t deny that she needed the help around the office, especially with everything going on in her personal life, and the month of June (which had quickly gone from Sasha’s favorite month to a month she dreaded all year round), always had her completely swamped. A quiet knock on her office door threw Sasha out of her thoughts, as she looked up. Shea. Sasha smiled at Shea while she gathered her thoughts.

“Hi, Shea! You can come in.” Shea walked in, she looked tired, “Hello Sasha.” Shea smiled back at her, her smile was full of anxiety, Sasha understood that, and held out the coffee to Shea, “I figured that you might want one.” Shea nodded gratefully as she took the paper cup out of Sasha’s hands. 

“Okay, so you can sit down wherever, and then I’ll explain what all you’re doing today.” Shea sat down directly across from Sasha and watched as she pulled a small laptop out of one of her desk drawers, She walked around and handed the laptop to Shea as she sat down in the seat next to her. 

“Alright, this is your work laptop, try to only use it for work purposes, it makes everything a lot easier.” Shea nodded and turned it on, facing herself with the home screen. 

“Okay so you’re just to go to chrome and type in votebuilder.com” Shea nodded and did what she was told until the page had loaded a log on screen that said “DNC votebuilder” Sasha nodded and pulled a sticky note off of her desk, scribbling a few words on it and handing it to Shea. 

“This is your username and password, you’re scoulee.ttny alright? And your password is TT4NY2018, case sensitive.” Shea nodded and did as she was told, following a couple more steps until she was faced with an empty form, here, Sasha reached over her desk and pulled out about 200 pages binder clipped together, and she handed it to Shea.

“Okay, these are our support cards, they’re all from people who say that they are going to vote for Trinity when the time comes, so what you’re going to do is put their name here.” Shea did as she was told, “and then hit search. Scroll down.” As Shea did this, she became confronted with a list of names similar to the ones that she had put in, “What you’re going to do next is pick the one that this person is, and you can check because the phone numbers are the same.” Shea searched for the one in her hand, but couldn’t find it, after a few quiet moments, Sasha reached out and pointed to the third one from the bottom. 

“Oh.” Shea gasped quietly to herself, a little bit embarrassed. Sasha laughed, “it’s okay, it takes a little getting used too. So what you’re going to do from here is fill out the rest of their information in the form that you’ve been given.” Shea nodded and started to do as Sasha asked, “And then, in the drop down menu that says ‘you in?” I want you to put ‘yes- signed’ as the option.” Shea did as she was  told, “Next, you’re going to go to the notes section right below and add the event, in this case it’s ‘NYU meet and greet’ and then you’re going to fill out whatever they put on those bottom two line of the card, called “what do you want the next governor to focus on?’ And ‘Why are you, Team Trinity?’ Cool?” Shea nodded.

“Awesome! Let me know when you’re finished with that, and then I’ll give you a couple more things we need to be done, you can go work out there,” she nodded to the open space filled with couches, “or you can stay in here so you can ask questions and stuff as you need too.” Shea nodded, “I’ll just stay here if that’s alright with you.” Sasha laughed.

“Yep! Totally fine, and let me know if that gets too boring, I-- We have a lot of things that need to be done before Juneteenth this weekend- which speaking off, You in? We usually walk the parade and then have a tent at the festival afterward.” Shea nodded, 

“Absolutely!” 

“Fantastic! I’ll email you the details. Which, I should’ve mentioned, your work email is  [ sheacoulee@trinityforny.com ](mailto:sheacoulee@trinityforny.com) coolio? Passwords the same as votebuilder, but you can change both of them.” Shea nodded again. 

After that, Sasha turned towards her computer, and they worked in silence for about twenty minutes, the only sounds were their fingers on keyboards and the sipping of their coffee. Eventually, though, another knock came to Sasha’s door. They both immediately looked up to see Peppermint standing there in all her glory. 

“Sasha-- can you call Mr. Weiser back? We have to push back Trinity’s interview one more day.” Sasha looked at the calendar and turned back to Shea, her forehead resting in one of her hands. 

“Fuuuck. That was today.” She muttered before she lifted her head up and looked at Pepper.

“Totally. When do we want to push it back too? I think it still needs to be this week if we can.” Pepper nodded to that. 

“Maybe Thursday, so it’s not caught up in all the Juneteenth craziness.” Sasha nodded and Shea watched as she picked up her cellphone, an annoyed look her eyes, she sighed before putting the phone to her ear. 

“Hello?” She spoke, sounding  10 times calmer than she had a few moments ago, “Mr. Weiser? This is  Sasha Velour from Trinity Taylor’s office, I’m so sorry to call you so late, but we’re going to have to reschedule.” Shea watched as Sasha pulled a page off of the legal pad in front of her and scribbled a few notes as she nodded along to whatever the man on the other end of the line was saying, she muttered a “mmmhm” and an “unnhm” every few moments as she quickly scribbled on her paper.

“Alright, thank you so much for understanding, sir, we’ll see you on Thursday morning! Have a good day!” Sasha’s voiced smiled, but her eyes didn’t as she set down her cell phone and sighed, before, as though she had just remembered Shea’s presence, she straightened up and turned back to her computer. 

For two hours they worked in complete and total silence, the only sounds were the sounds of their keyboards clicking along as they typed, Shea’s pace was a little be slower, and and she was amazed by how quick Sasha’s typing was, not that it mattered, it was just one of those little things about Sasha that Shea had begun to notice.

Shea also began to notice how Sasha would rub the ring finger of her left hand when she got restless, and how even the littlest noises from the other rooms would make her jump. Eventually, Sasha’s phone alarm began to go off, taking both girls’ out of their thoughts. Silencing the alarm, Sasha reached down to grab her bag before turning to Shea.

“This is usual our lunch break, I’m going to walk to a cafe down the street, would you like to join me?” Shea nodded, checking her bag to make sure she had money before she stood to join Sasha outside of the building. Quickly, Sasha lead Shea down the street, before taking a sharp turn into an alley, 

“I like to avoid all the Civic Center hot-spots,” Sasha explained as she leads Shea out of the alley and down another street, “make the environment a little quieter.” Shea nodded in response as they reached a plain looking building, sandwiched between a famous footwear and a fruit stand. Shea looked up to read the flashing sign:  “Caught in the Act” Sasha threw the door open and held it open for Shea and they entered inside together. 

The exterior of the building hadn’t been much, but the interior more than made up for it. Little tables littered the floor, with mismatched chairs all around, the walls told the story of many journeys, there were pictures, rocks, sea shells, and little knick-knacks framed on the walls, as Sasha leads the two to a table she explained, “the owner of this place, Courtney, had been all over the world before she finally settled here, and she brought all her findings here.” 

“That’s so cool,” Shea spoke, distracted by the walls (and the little lucky cat on their table) until Sasha handed her a menu. Shea looked over the menu and smiled, it was full of meals from all over the world, from curry to sushi, to pizza and fish, the menu seemed just as eclectic as Shea’s surroundings. Shea quickly observed how much Sasha fit the background around her, the bright colors of her clothing contrasting with the pale of her skin and hair, She watched her for a few minutes, before she realized that she really should be picking out what to eat. 

A waitress came by and smiled at them, Her black hair was tied up in a bun, and she wore a simple t-shirt and jeans that displayed the words, “Don’t Get Caught in the Act at Caught in the Act!” across her back. She set down two glasses of water before introducing herself in the cheeriest voice that  Shea had ever heard.

“Hi! I’m Dela and I’ll be serving you today, what can I start you two lovely ladies off with?” Shea motioned for Sasha to order first. Turning towards Dela, Sasha smiled. 

“Can I get the almond and walnut salad?” Shea watched Sasha as she spoke, how she smiled as she spoke, and how she gestured her hands ever so slightly, her whole aura just vomited charisma, and Shea quickly realized that she could listen to Sasha talk all day. Shea composed herself as Sasha finished ordering. 

“Can I get the southwestern Panini?” As Dela nodded Shea handed her the menus sitting on the table. 

“I’ll be right out with the food, ladies!” Dela smiled at them again as tucked her notebook back in her apron pocket and rushed back to the kitchen. 

“How have you been enjoying your first day of work?” Sasha asked curiously as she took a sip of her water. Shea shrugged, “It’s been fine.” Sasha let out a light chuckle at that. 

“I’m going to change it up a bit when we get back to the office, We’ll work on making sure we have a complete list of volunteers for Juneteenth, and we’ll go ahead and double check that we have everything we need for our booth if that sounds good?” Shea nodded.

“You’re the boss, whatever works for you works for me.” Shea grinned as Sasha looked down at her plate as a light blush began to spread across her cheeks and she looked up at Shea.

“I guess that’s true.”  Sasha mused to herself, “I’ve never actually had an assistant before, so this is just as new to me as it is to you.” Shea chuckled. 

“That actually makes me feel better.” Sasha smiled, “I think I’m slowly starting to realize that everybody in politics in clueless.” Sasha laughed out loud at that, and Shea realized it was the first time she had heard her properly laugh, it filled the small space they were in, it reminded Shea of the pool parties she attended as a child- warm, bright, and full of life, it was beautiful. Shea focused her attention back on Sasha, who was nodding at Shea’s words. Shea opened her mouth to say something, but nothing would come out. As she sat there, staring at Sasha with her mouth opening and closing like a goddamn fish. Shea willed herself to find the words she was looking for, but before she could, Dela returned with two plates, laying them down in front of the girls. 

“Enjoy your meal!” She smiled at them, before bouncing off, back to the kitchen. Shea stared down at her plate, noticing how delicious it looked.  Shea noticed Sasha rubbing her ring finger again. As they started eating, Sasha prompted Shea with another question, 

“If you don’t mind me asking, what made you move to New York?” Shea finished chewing before answering. 

“I came here for school, I always wanted to be a fashion designer, and once I finished school, I thought this would be the best place to jump-start my career, and I liked it well enough, so I stayed. What about you?”  

“I came here for school as well, but I went to school for upstate, Ithaca, and then I met Trinity, and I liked her mission so much that I came down here.” Shea nodded.

“What kind of major did you end up with?” 

“I have my masters in political science, but my minor is in gender, women, and sexuality.” 

“Nice, My official major is in marketing, and my minor is in fashion design, but I honestly don’t know what  I’m going to do with that now.” Shea sighed.

“Hey, it’s never too late for things to change, you might still get that big break in fashion.” Sasha smiled that smile at Shea again, and even though Shea doubted her words, Sasha had a way of thinking that everything was going to be just fine, she could feel the butterflies fluttering around in the pit of her stomach, but she tried to ignore it as she finished her meal, making small talk with Sasha the whole way through. Dela came back with the bill, but before Shea could even grab her purse, Sasha and pushed her card into the little black wallet and handed it back to Dela, as though she was reading Shea’s mind, she spoke, “Don’t worry about, it’s your first day.” And she waved away her companions concerned face. They casually left the restaurant, and as Shea laughed at something Sasha had said, she thought to herself, “I might actually like this job.” 

Arriving back at the office, Sasha gave Shea the list of expected volunteers, and short directions before hurrying off to Trinity’s office for a short meeting. Shea quickly set to work in the back of Sasha’s office, writing people’s names on little tabs and sticking that to shirts before folding them and setting them in a box. It was boring a repetitive work, and it was so quiet without Sasha there, but Shea ignored it and kept working. At one point, she took a short break to go to the bathroom, and when she came back, she could hear some words out of Trinity’s office.

“I mean, I could start wearing it again or something? Pretend it didn’t happen?” Sasha. 

“I doubt it, they’re dumb but I don’t think we could fit it passed them.” Peppermint. She could feel, more than hear, the sigh from all three women. She could hear somebody opening their mouth, but they were quickly shut down.

“--Sasha, don’t apologize, we’ll figure it out, we always do.” An unknown voice, “it must belong to  Trinity,” Shea mused to herself as she walked further into the office. “At the end of the day you did what you had too, and it’s much better for us to be in this situation than the one we were in before.” 

“If you’re sure.” 

“I am sure, Sasha, now you two-- get the fuck back to work.” A laugh, two (albeit sarcastic) “yes ma’ams.” Shea got back to work just as Sasha re-entered the office, she looked like something was off, she looked down and ran her fingers through her hair nervously. But as though she was noticing Shea for the first time, she quickly wiped the look of discontentment from her face and smiled at Shea as she sat back down at her desk, Shea watched as she opened her computer and Shea was shocked at the number of emails she got-- it was enough to make Shea anxious as all hell. 

They worked in silence for the remainder of the work day, with a little small talk in between, but the time went fast. At 4:00 PM, the work day ended. As Shea started to put her stuff away in her bag, she realized Sasha still hadn’t moved from her desk, instead, she seemed to stare very intently at her screen. Before Shea could say anything, there was a voice behind her.

“Sasha, I refuse to let you work late.” Shea whipped behind her and found herself face to face with Trinity Taylor. She was a little bit shorter than Shea, but she felt… so much bigger? The weight that she held in the room was noticeable. She had large hair, and Shea knew she must go through a can of hairspray a week. She wore a smart black suit and simple button up, and just looking at her, Shea _ knew,  _ and that her face was pumped full of all sorts of “cosmetic” injections; and if she was honest, Shea kind of loved it. 

Sasha sighed from her desk and began to pack up her stuff, meeting Trinity’s eyes. She waved at Shea, wishing her a good night, and a quick “I’ll see you tomorrow?” It was a quick dismissal, but one that  Shea knew really meant, “please leave, this situation is embarrassing.” Shea walked out of the room quickly, as she headed out of the office and to the subway, wondering why Sasha had been so quick to dismiss her. 

The week based quickly, and Shea found that she was genuinely starting to enjoy the job that she was doing. She would show up to work at 7:50 AM, chat with Aja and the accountant, Farrah, for a few minutes, before heading to the office. Shea also found herself genuinely enjoying her time with Sasha. Sasha was kind and intelligent, she posed a sort of energy that Shea had never seen in anybody else before. The work days passed with small conversation between the two as they worked almost exclusively on the upcoming Juneteenth parade. Soon enough, Shea was loading a subway car to go off to the Park, at the ungodly time of 6:30 AM. The day before she had volunteered to help Peppermint set up the Juneteenth booth, at at the time, spending the morning with her mother figure at the office seemed like a good idea, but now that she was almost there, she hated herself just a little bit. 

Upon her arrival, she checked herself in at the little booth at the entrance as she weaved through the maze of groups setting up for the day. Eventually, she was able to find Trinity’s table, but not without noticing that Sasha, Trinity, and Peppermint were already there as well, It was the first time that Shea had seen Sasha out of her normal office wear, and it was an incredibly strange feeling, to see somebody who always looks so powerful, so in charge, in just t-shirt and jeans, with a flannel tied around her waist, Shea couldn’t deny that she looked absolutely stunning. Soon, they started up to work, with Trinity and Sasha going off to set up their booth at the end of the parade, Peppermint and Shea stayed where they were to set up t-shirts and handouts for those who would be walking with them. They worked in the silence for the majority of it, but as the dawn slowly transitioned into the heat of the morning, Shea could hear the heavy footsteps of a man coming up to their own little plot. Peppermint looked up first. 

“Hello, sir, can I help you?”

The man cleared her throat and looked up at the other voice. He was a burly man, with little hair and a graying beard, who’s wrinkles formed around his mouth as though he had never smiled, and looking at his face, Shea thought that that wasn’t all too far from the truth. He wore a blue badge on his chest with the words “press” emblazoned across it. 

“Yes.” He mused, his voice rumbling deep in this throat, “I was wondering if there were any good times for me to interview Ms. Taylor.” Peppermint nodded at that, “and maybe some other more… notable members of her team?” Peppermint’s face switched in an instant as she immediately acquired a scowl across her lips. 

“If you have any professional questions about Ms. Taylor, she’ll be more than likely to answer them later, but we are not taking personal questions about our team member’s lives at this time.” Now it was the man’s turn to scowl at Peppermint, and Shea internally admitted that she was totally, absolutely, and undoubtedly confused but what was going on. What was so important that the press would be interested in what appeared to be a normal political team? 

The man turned to walk away, but not before glaring at Peppermint and Shea, his eyes bouncing between them, and Shea could swear she felt his anger without even achieving eye contact, as he turned to walk away, he looked directly at Peppermint, and as though he was challenging her to say something, he muttered, just loud enough for both of them to hear:

“If you want to keep your questions political, maybe you should tell your campaign manager to give a fuck about somebody other than herself, but bitches like her always get what’s coming to them anyway.” And with that, he walked away. Shea turned, confused and angry, towards Peppermint. What had Sasha done anyways? As far as Shea was concerned, Sasha had been nothing but a selfless angel, but it seemed that there was a lot about her that Shea didn’t quite know yet.

Shea wasn’t dumb, but it seemed her office wanted to keep something a secret from her. Sometimes, she would enter the office to the sounds of Farrah and Aja whispering at the front desk, 

“I’m worried about her, sis.” 

“She knows what’s best for her, you’ve just gotta trust her sometimes.” 

“I don’t know if she does, though.” 

But once they noticed Shea, they would stop talking immediately. The same thing happened when she would enter Trinity or Peppermint’s office, to find the other one quietly whispering about Sasha. 

“She needs to stop putting off dealing with it, she’s just hurting herself more.”

“I know Trinity, but we can’t force her to deal with it.” 

“I’m just afraid that she’s going to hurt herself even more.” 

Then, they would notice Shea, and go totally silent again. Shea wanted answers, but overall, the timing just didn’t see right. What could be going on that Shea just couldn’t be told? She didn’t understand. Peppermint’s body language brushed off any of Shea’s questions as people started to arrive. Shea smiled, and handed out tee shirts and did her absolute best to pretend like everything was normal, but she couldn’t shake off that man’s words. What could Sasha have done that was so bad anyway? Shea didn’t know. 

 

But she was determined to find out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yo! If you couldn't read the first part because of the sexual assault trigger warning, here's a non-graphic account of what happened:  
> Basically, Sasha has a shitty ex-boyfriend, and she gets reoccurring dreams of him raping her/assaulting her, and it goes a little in depth about his emotional and verbal abuse as well, as well as showing as badly Sasha (isn't) coping with her C-PTSD.


	4. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A parade, a crazy ex, and gourmet mac and cheese. (oh my)!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, all! I hope you enjoy this chapter, I really enjoyed writing it. I'm not going to make any promises on my next update because they're so rare, but I'm super excited for the next few ( ;) )   
> Just so you know, I actually write this fic to an ever-changing playlist, so you wanted to know what this is written to/is supposed to be read to, here it is: https://open.spotify.com/user/abigaylepost/playlist/19FQVdT9f8zaydoku5u5dv   
> Note: Obviously, this is a work of fiction and is based on their drag characters, not them as people, and I have 100% respect for their real-life relationships.   
> Thanks for reading!   
> -Panic

 

Shea HAD been excited about the Juneteenth parade, but as Sasha separated from the group, Shea remembered just why she had hated parades as a kid. 

_ She sat down on the sidewalk, deep black curls bounced around her face as she laid her head in her hands and looked up at the people walking in front of her. This was SO boring! She had spent the last twenty minutes, sat here, watching people walk by while she hoped that eventually one of them would throw her candy. They rarely did. She didn’t even really understand why the Juneteenth parade was so important, just that is was.  _

Of course, some things had changed, Shea was a marcher now, not just a spectator, and she finally understood the importance of Juneteenth, but walking, waving a sign, and pretending like you’re having the time of your life wasn’t exactly Shea’s idea of fun. Shea looked ahead into the crown to see Sasha talking to a couple of people, her smile was large as she waved her arms around enthusiastically, as the two people in front of her wrote down on the small little cards Shea had been entering into the data just last week. She caught Sasha’s eye, and she waved, her eyes were bright and full of life and wonder and she skipped over to the next group of people. 

Shea felt herself smile too, “if I could just look at her this whole time,” she had thought smugly to herself, “then I could do this all day.” 

Sasha never seemed to hate her job, but Shea had never seen her more motivated than at this very moment. She had been running both sides of the parade, talking to the parade-goers about Trinity and her mission. She spoke animatedly, passion spilling from her voice as she smiled and laughed with the people around her. Once again, Shea found herself captivated by her charisma, but a little voice in the back of her head whispered, “you heard that reporter. People HATE her.”  Shea literally could not fathom the concept of anybody looking at Sasha and hating her, Shea watched as she took one of the cards back from a man who had refused to sign one. Her smile didn’t falter, she just skipped to the next person. 

Shea leaned over to Peppermint, who was walking next to her. Looking at the commotion around her, Shea leaned over and whispered, 

“Can I ask you a question?” 

“Of course, doll, what’s up?” 

“That man, the one who came early, why did he want to talk about Sasha so bad?” Peppermint sighed and looked around the crowd, before pulling Shea to the side of the parade, and once the other walkers for Trinity had passed, Peppermint pulled them back into the end of the line. 

“You know that Sasha used to have an ex-fiance, yeah?” She nodded, she had remembered Sasha telling her about it briefly on the day they first met, but she didn’t know anything about Sasha’s ex. 

“Well, their breakup was pretty messy, and her ex was pretty powerful in the banking system, an influential guy, for sure, so when they broke up, he went to a news station and managed to get a pretty awful slander article written about her.” Shea nodded, eyes wide and Peppermint regained her composure, her volume slowly increasing as she spoke anyway. 

“We didn’t think it would really matter, we figured the general public didn’t really care about campaign managers-- and we were busy taking care of Sasha anyways-- but apparently they did. People freaked, and it really hurt Trinity in the polls, but Sasha got the whole situation as under control as best she could, but as you saw, we’re still dealing with.” 

“So people are mad because some guy lied about Sasha? And it was that bad?” Shea was shocked. In the back of her mind, she loosely remembered something about “people like that” working in politics, but she hadn’t thought too much of it at the time, and couldn’t have ever imagined that it would’ve been about somebody like Sasha. 

“Well, it was hard, because some of it was obviously fake, but it was the things that were true that were harder to deal with. Like, Sasha’s pansexual, none of us ever cared, and we kinda assumed nobody else would be but one break up later and- BAM! It’s suddenly a huge scandal.” Shea nodded, secretly a little giddy that Sasha was not straight. 

Shea felt happy about her answers, but now found herself even more confused, why had everybody kept it so secret? She looked to Trinity, who was talking to a reporter on the side of the parade, and she looked forward to Farrah and Aja, who were walking together, hands brushing together as they spoke, ignoring the people around them entirely. What was so bad about that? She didn’t understand. 

Sasha bounced ahead of the others, support cards in her hands as she looked for people to talk too. She spied a man ahead of her who wasn’t talking to anybody else, she skipped over to him and offered him her most genuine smile as she plopped down in front of him, outstretching her hand for him to shake. He refused it. 

“Hello, sir!” He nodded at her. 

“I’m Sasha, and I’m here with Trinity Taylor, She’s a Democrat running fo---” He put his hand up to stop her. 

“Don’t waste your breath sweetheart, I’m voting Republican. I think Eureka can really do something for this state.” Sasha opened her mouth to thank him for his time but before she could he butt in, 

“And I don’t need any, queers or trannies dictating my country.” Sasha walked away, without saying anything, before putting her smile back on her face and bouncing over to the next person. 

Would she ever live it down?  
She thought about it every single day, at her best, she brushed it off as casual bigotry and would use it as inspiration to further her hard work, on these days, she was fine, maybe not happy, but she was fine. At her worst, she would come back to her apartment and cry, sitting on her floor, knees pulled up to her chest, mentally berating all her actions leading up to that point. She had spent so long blaming everything on herself, why stop here? If she had just, stayed with him, none of this would’ve happened. On these days, she would dig her fingernails into her arms until she accidentally bled, and she would ignore all her calls and texts. Sometimes she would drink until she’d black out, other times she’d sleep. 

Regardless of her day, she felt guilty. 

Trinity and Peppermint had tried to convince her to get “help, Sasha, a therapist or something.” But she wouldn’t. Didn’t want to force her feelings on anybody more than she already had, she had fucked everything up enough already, and if she were caught going to a therapist? It would be all her fault when they lost the election. 

Sasha didn’t hate herself, but it seemed like an increasing amount of her time was spent wishing that she was somebody else. She glanced back at the marchers in the parade, landing her eyes on Shea and Peppermint, Sasha smiled as Shea leaned into Peppermint to ask her a question, once straight black hair frizzing up in the New York heat, the beads of sweat gathering on her face made her shine, and Sasha couldn’t help but think that she looked absolutely radiant. Hiking up the flannel she had tied casually around her waist, Sasha skipped up to the next person, who listened to her speech willingly, and filled out her forum with a smile and she asked Sasha questions about the future of the campaign, and Sasha’ heart lit up as she remembered just why she loved her job so much. 

As they approached the end of the parade, Sasha began to maneuver herself through the line so she could be the first one at their booth when the festival started, ducking under arms and muttering apologies as she slid through groups of people. Once she got into the festival, she found it deserted, not unexpected due to the still continuing parade that was just within earshot. As she began to set up all the supplies needed at the back of the tent, she could hear the sounds of footsteps approaching her, they became louder, and when it sounded like they were at her table- they stopped. Fingers drummed on the plastic, creating a dull “thump” sound across the tent. Without turning around, Sasha spoke.

“The festival doesn’t start for another 10 minutes, but we can answer any and all questions then.” 

“It’s a good thing I’m not here for the festival then, isn’t it.” Sasha froze where she was standing. She could recognize that voice anywhere. 

“No, no,n no” she whispered to herself, blood running cold as she turned around, gathering all of her internal strength to face the man in front of her. He stood a good foot taller than her, olive skin contrasting greatly against the white of the table, and he moved to push the black hair out of his eyes, how could he be so calm and collected? 

“Sasha.” He smiled, revealing rows of wolf-like teeth. He looked like a predator, and Sasha hated to know that she was his prey. Gathering all her self-confidence, she willed her voice not to shake. 

“Liam.” She sounded scared, and she couldn’t help but dread how he could still make her feel this way, but here she was, face to face with the man who made her life a living hell for nearly seven years. He reached out his hand to stroke her shoulder, and suddenly she is no longer standing in a sunny park on a Sunday morning, she is kneeling on her bedroom floor, freezing and terrified. She is holding eye contact with him now, but it doesn’t feel different, it still feels like she is under his full control and her only way out is to submit to his will. She hates how he still has that power over her. 

“If you’re not coming back, will you come get your stuff out of our apartment?” his hand is still stroking her arm as he speaks, his faux loving tone trying to make it seem like he’s concerned for her. Sasha just nods, “yy-each, I can do that sometime.” He pouts as he moves his hand up to push a piece of her hair behind her ear, circling his hand around to caress her jaw as grips her chin and tilts her head forward, just like he used to.

“Think about it before you go babygirl, we can always work this out, haven’t you thought about how this is hurting me? I can still see all your credit card transactions, you’re not taking care of yourself.Face it, baby, you can't-do this without me.” Sasha attempted to jerk away, studying her converse-clad feets intensely as he spoke. He moved his other hand down and wrapped it around her waist, ignoring her subtle complaints. He did it, not to bring them closer, but to run his hands along her lower back, a way to remind her who she belonged too. He tilted her face so she was facing him again, causing her to arch her back around his arm, he chuckled as he spoke, “I love you Sasha, I want to give you the world, you just have to come home, babygirl.” and with that, he relinquished his hold on her and walked away, she wobbled for a moment, trying to steady herself on unsteady feet. She can still feel his hands on her and it feels unclean, she realizes that there is not a part of her body that he has not touched. 

He has pulled on her hair.

And forced himself between her teeth.

He’s left numerous bruises across her face and neck. 

He’s pushed his fingernail scars into her skin.

And for seven fucking years, he held her hands. 

He had laid bite marks all across her breasts and stomach.

And he’s kicked his way between her legs more times than she can count. 

Sasha feels like she will never wash his touch off of her, his rough hands are forever stained onto her body and as she runs to the nearest trash can, she vomits for the first time in a long while. 

Would she ever be clean? 

Shea does her best to keep the smile on her face for the remainder of the parade, but she can’t stop thinking about what Peppermint had told her, why would somebody bother to write a slander article about Sasha? Regardless of a breakup, if you claimed to love somebody, how could you do something like that? 

As they came to the edge of the parade, Shea waited for Peppermint to thank all of the volunteers that walked with them, and when Trinity stood up to finish her thank you’s, Peppermint and Shea rushed through the vendor entrance on the other side of the parade. Shea hadn’t been inside the festival yet, but Peppermint was able to effortlessly push her way through the crowd until they found themselves in a tent covered in Trinity Taylor campaign everything-- shirts, hats, buttons, pins, flags,  and stickers, Sasha stood at the back, pushing boxes under a table full of water bottles, she was turned away from them, and seemed entirely oblivious to the pair as they approached the table. 

“Hey, Sasha!” Peppermint greeted, she sounded excited, but Shea noticed that she made an effort to keep her voice low, to avoid scaring the younger girl. Sasha turned around, and although she appeared a little frazzled, she turned, and her face broke into a big smile as she looked at Shea.

“Shea!” She smiled as she held her arms out to Shea, who graciously walked behind the time and into her arms, “I haven’t seen you all day!” Shea said nothing, she wrapped her arms tightly around the other girl’s waist. Damn, she gave good hugs. When she released the other girl she looked up and smiled, still only inches from her.  She was so beautiful, her Trinity shirt clung tightly to her body, and even just wearing skinny jeans, she managed to hold some sort of elegance to her. Shea was entranced by the way she seemed to hold such power. 

Sasha quickly rambled off some instructions for Peppermint, saying that she would be following Trinity around to all her speaking events and appearances during the festival (“to make sure she doesn’t say something totally nasty.” Sasha had said with another smile as Trinity joined them.) Then, she explained to Shea that they would be staying at the booth most of the day, and Sasha would show her how to interact with potential voters, seasoned supporters, and assholes. As Peppermint looked at her schedule, she finally mentioned. 

“Trinity has a meet and greet at this booth?” Sasha did a half shrug as she pulled out more papers from a box under the table. 

“Sort of. I just kinda want you two to man the booth for half an hour so Shea and I can get a break.” Peppermint nodded, smirking at both of them. As people started to get let into the festival, Peppermint looked at them and gave a thumbs up and she picked up some of the things Trinity would need for her first event, “good luck girls, godspeed.” Sasha and Shea both laughed at that as Peppermint and Trinity walked away. 

Shea was an extrovert, but for the first time in her life, she was angry about all the people she had to talk too, she just wanted to talk to Sasha. They sat side by side, laughing and talking between groups of people, stopping by. 

“...And that,” Sasha concluded with a laugh, “is how I tried to propel myself down a hallway by tying a fan to my back.” Shea laughed, leaning forward as her hands his the table to a “thump.”

“Ow.” she whispered to herself and she brought her hands back into her lap, “did you really manage to hurt yourself?” Sasha chuckled at her and Shea looked at her with mock offense. 

“Yes, are you really making fun of me? I could be seriously injured, Sasha.” Sasha rolled her eyes but smiled at the other girl. 

“My deepest apologies, do I need to kiss it better?” Her tone was joking, but Shea could swear that her heart had stopped. She looked down, trying to hide the tiny smile that had placed itself on your lips. She didn’t know if Sasha had noticed, but she didn’t have too. 

“Hey, Girlies!” They both looked up to see Peppermint and Trinity, approaching the booth. Once safely behind them, Trinity loudly whispered, “a man asked me if I had plastic surgery, can you believe? The audacity.” Then she glanced at Shea, “I don’t look like I’ve had surgery, right Shea?” Shea, suddenly very confused as to what to say, looked down, and then back at Trinity. “Not at all, miss” She smiled. Peppermint,  Trinity, and Sasha had laughed at that. 

“You passed, good job kid.” Trinity smiled down at her through plumped lips, “now you too go get food your something, Pepper and I can handle this.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” Sasha stood up, offering her hand to Shea, who graciously wrapped her hand around the older woman’s, attempting to ignore how soft Sasha’s hand was. 

They both exited the booth and headed towards the food section of the festival. They walked in silence for a few moments until Shea noticed a food truck. 

“Gourmet mac and cheese? What the fuck is gourmet mac and cheese?” Sasha laughed and looked to where Shea was pointing. 

“I don’t know, but we can find out.” Shea nodded at that, and without thinking, grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the food truck in front of her. 

“Breath, Sasha.” She whispered to herself as Shea grabbed her hand. She took a deep breath, easily concealed by the sound of their running feet against the pavement. She tried to calm herself, “this isn’t Liam, this is your friend. She isn’t going to hurt you.” Doing her best to stay calm, she placed her order and picked up the hot plastic bowl with three fingers on either side. 

When Sasha started to get anxious, she would count. Numbers were so real, so grounded in her reality that she felt counting would ground her too. When Sasha had originally told her doctor of her past relationship, it wasn’t hard for her to drop the words “trauma” “abuse” and “post-traumatic stress disorder”

but it was so hard for Sasha to accept them. Three phrases, seven words, thirty-seven letters. It was a fucked up sort of irony. Her doctor had also said the words

“survivor” “recovery” 

but those weren’t easy to take either. She tried to put them into order, first alphabetically. 

Abuse, PTSD, recovery, survivor, trauma. 

But it didn’t make any sense. 

She tried to put them into chronological order. 

Trauma, abuse, PTSD, recovery, survivor. 

That seemed right, but it also seemed so unusual, it felt like she was still at “Abuse” and she had no idea how to get to “survivor.” 

So she started to count, something logical and calming and although it didn’t push her anywhere near “recovery” it helped her forget that she was still at “PTSD.”    
She was with Shea, that was two. 

There were six booths within eyesight. 

Four children bounced down the sidewalk. 

As she settled down with Shea on the pavement, she looked into her brown eyes, they were warm and full looking, like a hot chocolate mug on a snowy morning, and although her anxiety didn’t melt away like the snow in the springtime, laughing with Shea on a Sunday morning made her feel like she didn't mind playing in the snow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact! I originally wanted to end this chapter after Sasha's run-in with her ex, but I decided to end it in a happy place ( this time >:) )


	5. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A parade ends, a subway is taken to Brooklyn, growth is made, and secrets are discovered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry, this took so long, I'm a junior in hs so I'm so crazy busy all the fucking time. I'm kinda upset bc the climax chapter of this fic happens during Christmas and I really wanted to get it out for Christmas but here we are, still in the rising action. Anyways though, here's the new chapters, no warnings this time around.  
> I also write this fic to a playlist, and if you ever want to give it a listen: https://open.spotify.com/user/abigaylepost/playlist/19FQVdT9f8zaydoku5u5dv   
> Thanks for sticking around,   
> Panic

Shea loved eating lunch with Sasha. And although she had been doing it five times a week, for about two months, she didn’t know if she’d ever really get used to listening to the other woman laugh, even if it was for only half an hour a day. 

Today was no different, and as Shea sat across from her on the hot pavement, she couldn’t help but notice the way her eyes didn’t sparkle in the same way they usually did, she kept looking down, then up, then around her, like she was watching for somebody, but didn't want Shea to know about it. 

“Is everything alright, Sasha?” She kept her voice low, something about the atmosphere that Sasha had created once they had sat down inspired Shea to keep her voice low, something about this moment, seemed… paranoid, almost. Shea felt the need to sound slightly more cautious than usual. 

Sasha didn’t respond.

“Sasha?” Shea spoke, raising her voice ever so slightly, catching Sasha’s attention, she jerked around, a wild look in her eyes, she shook herself slightly, as though attempting to force herself back into the present moment. 

“Yes?” She asked quietly, her voice was unlike anything Shea had ever heard from her, Sasha sounded, scared? 

“Are you alright? You seem nervous.” Sasha gave a quiet laugh, the kind used to diffuse situations, not her usually belly laugh that filled the room, it was light, practiced, canned. 

“Yeah, sorry, I thought I saw somebody.” When Shea didn’t look convinced, Sasha quickly added, “It’s nothing.” Shea nodded, but she didn’t truly believe the other girl but choosing to act like she did. 

Nudging Shea, Sasha pointed up at the sky. 

“The cloud looks like a penis.” Shea gasped loudly before a loud laugh came out from the pit of her stomach, Shea totally lost it, falling to the concrete below her. Sasha laughed with her, falling in the same direction against the pavement, her head rested on Shea’s arm. 

Sparks. 

The moment itself was quick, Sasha shot up from the ground, and Shea followed. But Shea couldn’t forget the pressure she felt on the top of her forearm, still as strong as it felt when the other girl's head had been resting there, even if it had only been for a few moments. 

Packing up wasn’t great, the temperature had risen considerably in the last few hours since the parade had ended, and Shea felt like she was sweating her foundation off. Looking over at the other woman packing up what used to be the Trinity Tent, she could tell that none of them were faring much better than she was. 

Setting the rest of the stuff in the back of Peppermint’s mini van, Shea sighed, pulling her hair back up into a high ponytail. Before Peppermint got back into her car, Trinity called a quick “gather around.” Shea shuffled off to the circle, standing in between Aja and Sasha. 

“Alright, as you all know, the Roosevelt dinner is Tuesday, and I expect y’all to be there. I’ll email out all the rest of the information tomorrow.” They all nodded, including Shea, despite the fact that she wasn’t quite sure what this “Roosevelt Dinner” was. 

“And break!” Trinity yelled, throwing one arm up into the air as she did so, a short laugh echoing around the circle. As people began to turn away, Shea included, she heard a short yell behind her. 

“Shea! Wait!” Shea stopped and turned to see Sasha jogging up behind her, as she met with Shea she stopped and breathed heavily, hands placed on her hips as she regained her breath. Shea laughed. 

“Listen,” Sasha smiled with a short laugh, “I’m a campaign manager, not a fuckin’ marathon runner.” They both laughed. 

“I was going to ask though,” Her voice dropped, away from the teasing tone she had been using before, glancing down at her shoes before she continued, Shea noticed that she was rubbing her left ring finger again, 

“It must be a nervous habit.” she thought to herself. 

“Would you be interested in maybe getting dinner or something?” Before Shea could even respond, Sasha quickly added, “to talk about the dinner, and such.”

“Yes! I’d love to!” Shea gasped, secretly giddy, at the request, regardless of the intent.  Sasha looked slightly taken aback, but smile anyways. They exchanged details, types of food they enjoyed, and placements of their houses, in order to find the best possible restaurant. Eventually,  they agreed on Ichiran, a tiny ramen restaurant in Brooklyn, that Sasha had sworn up and down was amazing.  

They boarded the train together, it was filling up quickly, but they were able to get two seats right next to each other, squeezing together into the two seats, it was impossible for them to sit without touching. 

Shea loved the way Sasha felt pressed up against her body. She was warm, and Shea liked the way she sunk into her slightly as they train began to move, her body was soft, and the arm that was slung slightly over Shea’s knee looked even softer. She yawned as they began to move and Shea couldn’t help but wish she could pull that older girl into her, she looked so cute when she was tired. 

When it came to Shea, Sasha was conflicted. On one hand, she loved the way she could sink against Shea without worrying about consequences, and talking with Shea was always so damn easy, and Shea was so pretty and nice, and smart and…. And, Sasha needed to stop thinking about Shea. She was her assistant, after all, and Sasha had no place being in a relationship after everything she had been through. After the two girls got off the train, Sasha began to walk towards the restaurant, wordlessly grabbing Shea’s hand and pulling her with her, much like Shea had that very morning. The restaurant was close, thank god, as both girls had spent more than enough time walking over the course of their day. Entering the tiny building, Shea noticed that it was fairly empty for a place in NYC, and she felt grateful for the quiet dinner alone with Sasha. Sitting down, they both quickly ordered drinks. They both ordered lemonade. Shea, mango. Sasha, strawberry. Shea noticed the detail, and couldn’t help but think that it fit them both. 

“So, Shea.” Shea was pushed out of her thought by the girl in front of her, a slightly curled piece of hair falling in front of her sky blue eyes, as her messy bun started to fall from its place atop her head. “What kept you in New York after school?” Shea gave a slight hum before answering, taking a sip of her drink, straw held between long fingers. 

“I thought I could make it in the fashion industry, honestly, maybe that was a bit naive of me.” Sasha looked at her with a sad smile, shrugging as Shea finished.

“I wouldn’t say naive, maybe more, outlandish, but I wouldn’t say it’s impossible.” 

“Thanks, Sasha, what about you? What brought you to the city?” Sasha looked up before answering, chewing slightly on her bottom lip as she did so. 

“Well, I graduated from upstate, and then my ex, who I had met while at Ithaca, got a job down here. And I came with him.” by then, the waiter had come back, and they were handing over menus, ordering the same thing with little differences. Garlic vs. cheese, this time. 

“God,” Shea muttered, thinking over what Sasha had just said, “I don’t even think I know the last time I dated a dude.” Sasha laughed. 

“Well after my last experience, I can’t say I’ll be doing it again anytime soon.” now it was Shea’s turn to laugh. Sasha noted how she threw her head back slightly when she laughed, the back of her ponytail tickling the small of her back, and Sasha couldn’t help but wonder if her hair was soft, what it would feel like to run her fingers through it. 

“I mean, I’m gay as fuck so I don’t have plans to ever do it again.” Shea almost caught herself at this confession wondering what she was doing just telling her boss that she just happened to like women. Sasha laughed again as their waiter came into Shea’s line of vision. 

“I feel,” Sasha joked as the waiter arrived at their table, “I'm pan, so don’t worry about it.” Even though Shea already knew, could still hear the words “Sasha’s pansexual” in Peppermint’s voice, something about hearing the words for Sasha herself made her heart skip a tiny beat, she didn’t know if it was the weight being lifted off her shoulders or that stupid, stupid voice in the back of her head the whispered to her, “that means she’s available. An option.” Shea pushed that voice and it's words as far into her mind as she could, even if she could still hear the echo. As Shea reached to grab her bowl from the waiter, Sasha slipped her hands under it, catching it before Shea had a chance to mess up. Pulling back their hands met. 

Sasha had never been one to believe that pure emotion could form a spark between two people, but if there was ever something that would change her mind, it was this moment. She could feel the softness of Shea’s hands, the gentle touch creating a surge of electricity between their hands. Even as Sasha picked up her own spoon to dig in, she could feel a slight pressure where Shea’s hand had last touched. She couldn’t help but get the feeling that she was being absolutely insane. 

As they started to dine. Sasha began to fill Shea in on the dinner on Tuesday.

“They’re pretty awful, actually. There’ll be a silent auction before, then everybody will go into a big room and eat fancy food and pretend to be interested in what over people are saying.” 

“Is there any sort of dress code?” 

“Not really, just make sure that you don’t look awful, really. If you can find a mix of business casual and formal that would be great, but it isn’t too picky.” Shea nodded. 

“Thank you.” 

“Not a problem.”

A voice appeared to the side of Shea, one she didn’t expect. 

“Will you want separate checks?” before Shea had a chance to respond, Sasha nodded no. 

“Just bring it to me.” Shea protested. 

“Don’t worry about it, I made you come all the way to Brooklyn, I can pay.” 

“Sasha.” 

“Shea.” 

“Don’t.” 

“It’s fine, I can.” Shea protested a bit more but gave up as Sasha handed the waiter her card. Smirking slightly at the battle she had won. 

“You’re one of the most stubborn people I know, you know that?” Sasha just smiled. 

The beep of Sasha’s alarm was harsh the following day,  she had, of course, been plagued with nightmares the last night, and her body still hurt from the parade, although the nightmares were becoming usual, the content of them wasn’t. Sasha was used to the reminders of him in her dreams, but now it was all new. It wasn’t it past abuses but bright, violent reminders of their last encounter 

Sasha couldn’t help but dwell on yesterday. The way he wrapped his arms around her waist like she was just a tree branch and he could rip her in half at a moments notice. 

She supposed that he could. He knew more about her than anybody, her darkest secrets, her fears, her passions, her desires. He was gone, but she still felt the little reminders of him everywhere, they were on the plates in her kitchen, they dripped out of her shower head,  they wrapped themselves in her blankets, and Sasha couldn’t help but feel that she would never escape him. Once the bruises were faded and her body was healed, what was left? A broken girl with a few aspirations and a studio apartment? Not exactly something to write home about. 

Sasha glanced at her phone, checking the time. 

9:30 am. 

It was too early for Sasha to be awake, but she knew she would be unable to go back to sleep, picking up her phone, she made the call that she didn’t want too. 

“Hello you’ve reached {Peppermint} {She’s} not available right now, so please leave a message after the beep.” 

“Hey Pepper? It’s Sasha. I’ve been thinking a lot. Do you think, do you think maybe, you could help me find a therapist? I can’t do this alone.”  She cursed the shakiness of her voice, but she tried to remind herself, that “this is good. This will help.” 

Monday morning, Sasha was confused when she got to the office and the door was slightly open, she noticed no sign of a break-in. So she headed in, assuming that Aja might’ve gotten their earlier (she never locked the doors properly, which is why Sasha always tried to get there first.) 

Entering into the building, she heard noises in the main room, she heard slight muffling signs and heard the sound of some papers being pushed off a desk. Entering cautiously into the main room, Sasha hadn’t thought of what she might see, but if she had, this sight would have been at the very bottom of the list. 

Farrah was sitting on top of her desk, papers on the floor, legs wrapped around Aja’s waist as she moved her lips from Aja’s neck back up to her mouth. Sasha watched the is disbelief for a quick glance before walking further into the room, and looking down as she remarked, 

“You know you both have apartments to fuck in, right?”  Farrah screamed and almost fell off her desk as she clutched onto Aja’s already wrinkled silk shirt. Aja jumped back, and stared at Sasha with an open mouth, as though she was already attempting to come up with excuses for this, whatever “this” was. 

“We can explain.” Farrah stuttered out, the first one of the two to regain their composure. 

“It isn’t what it looks like,” Aja spoke, out of breath. Sasha just laughed, as she walked past them to unlock her office. 

“It’s exactly what it looks like, just clean up your shit and get to work.” Farrah and Aja both nodded quickly, not saying anything. Sasha laughed again, feeling the freest and light she had in a long time. 

“You guys aren’t in trouble, and I’m not going to tell anyone, just don’t be stupid.” Neither of them would ever admit it, but they both felt a major weight lift off their shoulders. 

“Thank you, Sasha.” 

“... Thank you, Sasha.” 

It was almost unison, Aja just a few beats off. Sasha couldn’t help but think “nothing new.” 

Sasha sat down at her computer and opened up her email, responding to the usual reporters, and she began to compile a list of things that Trinity needed to do this week so that when Peppermint came in, she could plan the day. 

Not long after she had started that, the was shocked by the entering of Peppermint, who usually arrived quite a bit later than Sasha did. She knocked lightly on her still open door, waiting for the moment that Sasha would acknowledge her. Sasha looked up and did a quick double take when it was Pepper. Sasha nodded at her, signaling that she was good to enter. Peppermint walked in and took a seat across from Sasha. 

“So…” Peppermint’s voice was low as she fished a piece of paper out of her overly large purse. Pulling out a crumpled piece of paper she unfolded as Sasha waited expectantly, she quietly handed it to Sasha before she could say anything.

“I did some research,” Pepper kept her voice as low as it had been when she started, “and I found a list of really good domestic abuse therapists in Brooklyn, I tried to keep it to less busy areas, for your sake.” Sasha took the piece off of paper and looked up at Pepper with a sad smile, trying to ignore the tears that were threatening to spill out of her eyes, unable to admit to herself that this tiny, tiny act of kindness meant the world to her. She didn’t have words, but Peppermint seemed to understand as the walked to the other side of the desk and wrapped Sasha in a hug, she tensed at first, but relaxed into Peppermints warm body, whispering a quiet “thank you” into the other girl's shoulder. 

Peppermint pulled back, smiling at Sasha, hands still sat firmly on the other girl’s shoulders. 

“I’m so proud of you.” Sasha tried to shrug off the compliment, but Peppermint wouldn’t let her. 

“I’m serious, Sasha. This is a big step, and I’m so proud of you.” Once again, Sasha nodded, a wordless thank you. Before she could spew any other words of thanks to the older woman, a new voice rippled through the quiet of the office. 

“Am I interrupting something?” both women turned quickly to find Shea Coulee standing and staring at them. She seemed awkward. 

As Shea had entered the office that morning, she had expected the same Monday that she had seen the last few weeks, but she was shocked to instead see the way that Sasha and Peppermint were interacting, maybe it was the way they embraced, or the crumpled piece of paper on Sasha desk that she had quickly moved out of Shea’s line of sight, or the way she looked like she was about to cry.

“Nope.” They both answered in unison. 

“So Sasha,” Peppermint added after a few painstaking moments of silence, “We’ll talk about Hard Dawn’s bullshit later, yeah?” Sasha laughed and nodded. 

“And I have Trinity’s stuff for the week, do you want it now?” Peppermint nodded, lifting the legal pad that always had Trinity’s priorities on and heading out of the room. 

Sasha turned and smiled at Shea. 

“Sorry about that,” 

“Not a problem.”

“We have something new today. This crazy ass “news paper” called Hard Dawn wrote this ridiculous article about Trinity, and about plastic surgery?” Shea couldn’t help but laugh a little, and Sasha joined her, evaporating what ever tension had been in the air. 

“So anyways, newspapers want a response. And since Trinity’s busy dealing with real campaign stuff, We’re going to respond.” 

“Sounds like fun,” Shea said, actually serious as she pulled out the laptop in front of her. 

“The  first, four or so are fun, come over here for a sec so I show you how this works.”

She did as she was told, standing just slightly behind her. She did her best to ignore how she had a perfect view of Sasha’s chest from where she was slightly above her. She placed one hand on Sasha’s shoulder and was little shocked when she could feel the softness of her sweater. She wondered for a moment what it would be like to touch Sasha without the clothing barrier between them.

Sasha hated how she thought the same. But Shea was warm and kind, and Sasha hated to admit that she had wondered what it would feel like to lay against Shea like she had on the subway, wondering what the other girl's fingers would have felt like in her hair. 

Sasha shook herself out of her day dream as she launched into her lecture about responding to the press. Shea tried to focus on her words, and not the way that Sasha’s hands moved as she spoke. 

Once she knew what to do, Shea moved back to her seat across from the other girl, glancing up at her as she worked, and once again her mind found her wandering to the way the sunlight looked on her face, try to drag her eyes away from Sasha, she set her sights on the crumpled piece of paper that Peppermint had handed her hours before. Quietly, Sasha stood up, drawing Shea’s attention. 

“I have to meet with Pep and Trin real quick, you all good?” Shea nodded in response, “Great, I’ll be in Trin’s office, don’t hesitate to come get me if you need anything.” Shea nodded again. 

“I will have fun!” Sasha laughed. 

“I’ll try.” 

Shea knew that she shouldn’t read the piece of paper on Sasha’s desk. It was an invasion of her privacy, her boss’s privacy, her friend’s privacy? Where Sasha and Shea friends? Shea didn’t know, but she knew that she wanted to read that piece of paper that was on her desk. 

She had always been one for rash decisions, and so, without thinking. She snatched the piece of paper that was on Sasha’s desk. Unfolding it. 

It was psychology today article. That in big letters said “Domestic abuse therapists in Brooklyn, New York.” 

Shea knew at this point she should look away. This wasn’t for her eyes, she had no reason to be looking at it, but she still looked at the hand-scrawled note at the bottom. 

Sasha- 

I’m so proud of you. And I know that I’ve said that before, but please understand that you are so brave and strong, you have been through so much, and I’m so proud to not only call you a friend but to call you a sister. 

This is a huge step forward 

Love, 

Peppermint 

Shea was quiet. She shouldn’t have done this. This wasn’t any of her business. She didn’t know Sasha well enough to be looking at her personal stuff like this and this was personal. It was so much more personal than Shea had planned. 

Shea sat the paper back down on Sasha’s desk and sank into her chair. Thinking of everything that she had learned about Sasha up to that point. She thought about ex-fiance, they way that nobody would talk about him and the way that Sasha would rub her left ring finger when she was nervous. 

The more she thought about it, the angrier she became. Why would somebody ever want to hurt Sasha? Smart, beautiful Sasha. Shea’s hands shook at the thought of it, but she tried to brush it off as the started working again. The guilt she felt for invading her space was nowhere near as strong as her anger. 

He better be happy that Shea didn’t know his address. 


	6. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Literally like, 2 things happen in this whole chapter, sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey kids!   
> This is probably the quickest I have ever updated, but I'm trying this new thing where I would love to get one chapter out a month. I haven't had a lot of time to work because I've been #depressed but it's cool.   
> I think people might like this chapter, though ;)

Shea sighed quietly as she finished tying the last piece of hair up into her bun. Turning to admire her outfit for the Roosevelt dinner, she smiled. The black bodysuit and had been a splurge, but she loved the way it wrapped around her neck and flared out at the bottom, the white blazer she had paired with it looked perfect, it wasn’t the best look, but Shea had deemed it appropriate for the dinner, and it was hard to guess what would be best when she had never even been to one of these things before, let alone heard about them and what to wear, what if it was too casual? too business? To--  
She was thrown from her thoughts by the ring of her doorbell. Sasha. 

Earlier that morning, Sasha had tried to give Shea directions to the hotel the dinner was taking place at, but spying her chance to talk to Sasha a bit more, Shea jumped at a different opportunity.   
“Will you being passing through the Lower East Side on the way there?” She asked, attempting to sound as coy as she could while still being office appropriate. Sasha nodded, looking up at Shea from her desk.   
“Would you be willing to meet me at my place then?” A quick smile, Shea tried to act like this wasn’t a big deal. She had attempted to seduce women before, and for the life of her, she could not figure out why trying to flirt with Sasha was so damn hard, something about the older woman just made her nervous. 

Pushing herself out of her thoughts for the second time that afternoon, Shea quickly grabbed her smile white clutch, checking it for the essentials before opening the door.   
“Hey.” She said, not looking up.   
“Hey.” Shea looked up as she stepped out to close the door and she stopped; dead in her tracks as she stared at Sasha.   
Her dress was black, but there were swirls of white all across the dress and the tiny sweater the adorned Sasha’s shoulders. The dress was possibly the most tightly fitting article of clothing that Shea had ever seen Sasha wear, and she did her best to ignore the way it hugged her hips. She noticed how Sasha’s lips were just as sparkly and red as the usually were, but she couldn’t help but notice how they complimented her pale complexion.   
“Did you forget something?” Sasha asked Shea, curiously eyeing the way that she had stopped in her doorway, Shea shook her head, meeting Sasha’s eyes and smiling.   
“Nope. Sorry.” Sasha shrugged with a smile, “not a problem.” 

Sasha was getting a weird sense of deja-vu, she found herself once again yearning to grab Shea’s hand as they walked towards the subway. She couldn’t help but notice how they were wearing the exact same colors, and as she walked onto the platform with Shea, she realized just how good they must’ve looked next to each other, how put together at the very least, and she found herself reaching for Shea’s hand, extending hers out just an inch.   
Shea either got the message or felt the exact same way, as she intertwined her fingers with Sashas as they got onto the train and sat down, not letting go when they train began to move.   
Neither of them acknowledged their entwined hands as Sasha turned to look at Shea.   
“Okay, so quick refresher, be kind and civil to everybody, people will say some dumb shit and you just have to act alright with it.” Shea nodded, biting her tongue, laughing internally at the way Sasha struggled to talk with only one hand available.   
“Is there anything I need to do campaign-wise?” Shea asked casually as the train pulled up to the next stop.   
“Nope. Because everybody here is either a reporter or from another campaign, there’s no point, really.” Shea nodded as the train started to move again.  
“So basically this whole event is for politicians to seem fancy and civil before the election?” Sasha laughed, nodding at Shea.   
“The primary is coming up, so things are tense, and events like this make the political climate a little bit better for all of us. Shea nodded again as the train slowed at their stop.   
The girls stood up, and the second they were off the train, Sasha quickly dropped Shea’s hand, once again not acknowledging it. Shea pouted slightly as her palm was once again subjected to the hot air of New York in July, but she didn’t say anything to Sasha as they quickly marched off of the platform and down the street.   
“So where is it exactly?” Shea questioned after a few minutes of silence, Sasha motioned up with two fingers, pointing to a grand hotel, “right there.” Shea nodded as they came to a street crossing, looked both ways, and walked across the street, ignoring the fact that the light was still green.   
If the hotel appeared fancy on the outside, it didn’t even hold a candle to the way the hotel looked on the inside, large chandeliers hung from the ceiling crystal glittering above the rich velvet couches that surrounded the fireplace, The check desk stood on one side, the women behind the desk were wearing simple white button-ups and creased black pencil skirts with their hair in tight, uniform buns. Sasha walked up to the women and asked them a quick question, that Shea couldn’t quite hear, but it was fairly obvious that it was related to the dinner. One of the women pointed upwards as the other one checked the computer in front of them. Sasha thanked them and turned back to Shea.   
“8th Floor,” She said simply as she turned towards the elevator, leaving Shea to quickly follow her towards the elevators. They stepped on, and before the door closed, they saw another woman, who stood maybe five foot four, shorter than both Sasha and Shea, hurrying towards the door, straightening her sky blue dress as she walked towards them, Sasha saw her coming, seemed to consider something momentarily, and then held open the door for the other woman to step on with them.   
“Thank you.” She squeaked before looking up, She met eyes with Sasha and looked taken aback for a sold moment before regaining her composure and smiling, Sasha offered a tentative smile back. Shea didn’t recognize this woman, but it was clear that Sasha did.   
“How does Ms. Taylor feel about the primary?” The smaller girl squeaked quietly, it felt like a genuine question, but Shea noticed how reluctant Sasha seemed to answer.   
“Pretty good, actually. I imagine Ms. O’Hara is feeling pretty confident right about now?” The smaller girl gave a polite chuckled as she answered.   
“Yes, but I think Ms. Taylor will definitely give her a run for her money.” Before Sasha could answer, the door opened, Shea stepped out first, as the Sasha and the other girl gave each other a quick goodbye, followed by a “good luck.” As Sasha stepped out of the elevator, the two girls hung back, giving the stranger a bit of time to get a head of them before Shea pulled Sasha to the side and gave her a questioning look.   
Sasha got the memo.   
“That’s Jaymes, she’s the account for Eureka O’Hara, who’s most likely going to be the Republican candidate for the governor’s race,” Shea nodded, “She’s actually pretty nice,” Sasha continued, “I think she’s the nicest person on Eureka’s campaign, honestly.”   
With that, Sasha pulled Shea slightly into the main room. It was just as extravagant as the floors below, the tables were white, and had simple white chairs behind them, candles were set on individual tables and waiters had begun to set out salads on each of the spots, more chandeliers hung from the ceiling above Shea, but that wasn’t even the most magnificent part.   
The wall directly facing Shea was entirely made up of a window. And Shea couldn’t help but drool at the view of Manhattan from eight floors up, high enough to see the world around her, but not quite tall enough to view it from the top, Shea stared at it for a couple of minutes until Sasha nudged her, handing her a name tag.   
“Thanks.” Shea all but whispered as Sasha came into her line of sight, Sasha, with all of Manhattan in the background looked like a painting, Shea smiled, taking a moment to enjoy the view in from of her as Sasha busied herself with her own name tag.   
Quietly, Sasha and Shea walked around the room, waiting for the moment that the event would start. Every now and then, Sasha would be stopped by somebody, she would introduce Shea, and they would talk for a few minutes. Shea was absolutely blown away by the number of people that Sasha seemed to know, and the number of people that seemed to know her. Shea was convinced that she had met at least six different campaign managers, five accountants, and what felt like twelve assistants.   
Eventually, though, another woman came up to Sasha, and unlike the handshakes that had been shared between others, this woman wrapped Sasha in a warm hug, smiling at her as they pulled away.   
“Sasha!” The other woman laughed, “It’s been so long, what’s been going on with you?” Sasha nodded, a light smile on her face.   
“Nothing new, I’m just happy June’s over, you know how it can be.” The other woman nodded, looking over to Shea like she had just noticed her. She stuck her hand out, and Shea shook it, surprised by this woman’s quickness.   
“Sorry I have introduced myself,” She apologized, but Shea brushed it off with a shrug, “I’m Olive.” She added with a smile, “and you are?”   
“I’m Shea.” Before Shea could add anything else, Sasha quickly butted in.   
“She’s my assistant, Olive, I know what you’re thinking.” They both laughed. As Olive looked at Shea once again.   
“Thank god somebody’s finally helping this girl, I swear.” Sasha rolled her eyes at that, but before either of them could say anything else, there was a tap at the microphone at the front of the room, a man at the front stood up and spoke.   
“The Roosevelt dinner will begin soon if you could all begin to find your tables.” After a few more moments of silence, people began to move, saying goodbye to each other as they went.   
“It was nice to meet you, Shea.” Olive smiled as she began to walk away.   
“You as well!” Shea smiled back. Before the two girls could walk away, Olive grasped Sasha by the arm and leaned into her.   
“We need to go out for coffee or something and catch up seriously let me know.” Sasha nodded.   
“Will do, Olive.”   
Sasha guided Shea to their seats at the Trinity table, where Peppermint, Trinity, Aja, and Farrah were already sitting. On their way to the table, Shea finally asked Sasha.   
“Who was that?”   
“Oh, Olive? She’s a good friend, she works at the same bank as my ex, so I never see her anymore, which sucks, she’s so nice.” Shea nodded as she took her seat next to Peppermint, and Sasha took her seat next to Trinity. They were sitting next to each other, close enough that their knees were pushed against each other. Neither of them made any effort to move.   
“I didn’t realize they were sending Olive to represent the bank instead of Liam,” Trinity mentioned calmly like it was nothing.   
“It is weird,” Sasha said, looking at Peppermint and Trinity with a shrug.   
The gears in Shea’s head were turning. Who was that? Was Liam Sasha’s ex? She quickly decided that this would not be the time, nor the place to ask.   
The girls began to eat the salads that were placed in front of them as the program started, right away, Shea understood just why Sasha said these things were the worst.   
It was because they were.   
As courses came out, Shea couldn’t help but find herself getting increasingly board, as she listened to speaker after speaker, the only source of entertainment had come from Eureka O’Hara, who had spouted not only some crazy shit about “easily offended snowflakes” But had dropped three of her cue cards on the way up, and was struggling to fill in the blanks between the different parts of her speech.   
Finally, as dessert came out, it was Trinity’s turn to speak. Everybody kept their clapping polite, as was usual for these events, but the girls from Trinity’s table were clearly clapping a little bit louder than everybody else as Trinity made her way up to the poem. Her flowing blue dress flew gently behind her as she stood in front of the audience, waiting patiently for the clapping to go down.   
Eventually, it did, and Trinity began speaking. Shea knew that she should be listening, this was her boss, after all, but after all the speeches she had heard previously, she was finding it hard to keep her focus on the woman at the front of the room. Although Aja and Farrah also seemed to be having trouble listening, Aja’s arm slung suspiciously over Farrah’s thigh, Shea quickly noticed that Peppermint and Sasha were both looking at the front of the room with looks of faux calmness, but Shea could catch the glimmer of worry in both women’s eyes. She had been hearing about this speech all day.   
“She is not going to say that!” Sasha had protested indignantly that morning when Peppermint came by to drop off the early copy of Trinity’s speech. Peppermint just looked at her and shrugged.   
“Hey, don’t kill the messenger, I just brought it to you. Do you think it’s too harsh?” Peppermint asked cautiously as she sat down in the chair next to where Shea was working quietly, trying not to get in between the conversation that was taking place between the two women.   
Sasha scoffed at Peppermint’s words.   
“Too Harsh? She wants to refer to Breitbart solely as ‘Trump’s dick suckers.’ For the entire speech!” Peppermint let out a loud, booming laugh at that, the warmth trickling into the room until it filled the whole space to the brim with warm laughter.   
“Is that incorrect?” Peppermint asked Sasha with a smirk. Sasha rolled her eyes in response.   
“It doesn’t matter if it’s correct, she can’t say it in her speech.” Peppermint gave a light “fair enough” nod, taking the paper, complete with Sasha’s scribbles, and leaving the office.   
Snapping herself back into reality at Trinity’s quick mention of the world media, Shea watched Sasha and Peppermint exchange brief, but concerned glances across the table. Both of the women were stars at hiding their emotions, but Shea noticed the fleeting looks of fear that kept flickering across Sasha’s face.   
Without thinking, Shea reached one of her hands underneath the table cloth, leaving her hand to rest on Sasha’s knee, doing her best to comfort the older woman.   
Sasha glanced over to Shea shortly, muttering a short thank you before quickly bringing her attention to the front of the room.   
The rest of Trinity’s speech was passed without incident, and both Peppermint and Sasha let out a breath that they’d been holding for the last five minutes or so, as the whole room stood up to give Trinity a standing ovation as she made her way back to the table, a bright smile on her face.   
And no mention of “Trump’s dick suckers” was made.   
People milled about for another twenty minutes after Trinity’s speech, but for the most part, Shea could tell that the dinner was winding down. She found herself yawning as she exited the ballroom, shocked by just how tiring the whole event really was. She glanced quickly at Sasha, who was was walking next to her, she noted how Sasha looked tired too, and for what felt like the sixteenth time that night, Shea found herself in awe of just how beautiful Sasha was, watching her interact with others, so poised, back straight, golden hair cascading to her shoulders like rays of sunshine,   
her smile was so big and bright. Shea found herself staring at her for a few seconds longer than she should have as they waited for the elevator to arrive.   
“Act natural, Sasha.” The other woman whispered to herself and she did her best to keep her eyes focused on the elevator door in front of her, finding a new found fascination with the way the numbers would light about just above her head as the elevator traveled up to them. She could feel Shea’s eyes on her, but she did her best to ignore them.   
She had stared at Shea most the night, basking in her ability to look so fashionable, the way she held herself, she found herself staring at the way the other girl’s hair fought itself again the hairspray holding it in the loose bun at the back of her head.   
When Shea had left her hand on Sasha’s thigh, it left butterflies in her stomach, light fluttering up to her abdomen as she felt the other girl’s hand on her.   
The ding of the elevator shook both girls out of their thoughts as they made their way back to the bottom floor, brushing against each other slightly as a result of the cramped elevator.   
The ride back to Shea’s apartment was near silent, but not uncomfortable, as both girls thought about the other, not aware that the girl sitting next to them was doing the exact same.   
When they got to Shea’s apartment, Shea turned to Sasha.   
“Thank you, for walking me back.” Sasha shrugged with a light smile,   
“It’s not a problem, I wouldn’t want you getting abducted.” Shea laughed, shattering the silence-with-only-whispers that had wrapped itself around the two girls since the end of the dinner. They both stood there for a moment, neither knowing what to say, but not wanting the other one to leave.   
Sasha broke the eye contact first, with a quiet, “good night, Shea.” But before she could fully turn around, Shea called after her.   
“Wait, Sasha.” Sasha turned, and right there, in the middle of Shea’s apartment hallway, she pressed her lips to Sasha’s, wrapping her arms around her waist and pulling her closer.   
Sasha reacted much quicker than Shea would’ve thought. Responding to her kiss and wrapped her arms loosely around Shea’s neck. They stayed like that for a few moments, lightly kissing the other, nobody deepened the kiss, they just stood their, feeling the closeness of the other girl.   
Shea was shocked. Her lips were so soft, and the way her arms wrapped themselves around her encompassed her in a warmth she hadn’t ever felt before.   
Sasha was in awe. There was no hunger, no desperate teeth clashes or anger, in this case, no ulterior motives, just the warmth of another person.   
Neither one wanted to pull away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you're welcome


	7. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls deal with their late night kiss and a primary vote happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello All!  
> It's time for my tri-monthly update. I'm hoping now that it's summer (and I've finished my Junior year of High School) I'll be able to update more!  
> I hope you all like this chapter, I think it's the happiest one of the fic so far ;)  
> I love you all  
> Panic

In a lot of ways, Shea did not know what to think when her alarm woke her up the next morning. For the first time in a long time, Shea felt sensation before she felt thought. She could still feel the ghost of Sasha’s lips on hers, a fleeting memory of the night before. Shea didn’t regret anything, but she did have a moment of regret for kissing her boss on a work night. She glanced at her clock, cursing the time before flinging herself out of bed and heading towards her bathroom, doing her best to avoid waking her roommates.  
As she washed, her mind was stuck on Sasha. She hadn’t really known what had come over her; but deep down, she knew that she wanted to kiss her again. But it was wrong, wasn’t it? Kissing your boss? Kissing another woman when your whole career is out in the open? Having scandals mere days before the primary? Shea cursed herself as she thought of the cliches of the situation-- how could something so wrong, feel so right?  
She dressed quickly. Pulling on a turquoise tank top and black pencil skirt, throwing on a quick black cardigan for the sake of professionalism. The closer Shea got to the office, the more nervous she felt. She had been so obsessed with her own feelings, that she had completely neglected the fact that she was going to see Sasha all day, the events of the night before unavoidable, unless they both wanted to sit in awkward silence.  
As she waited for the train to take her to the office. She listened to music, but every song seemed to remind her of Sasha. She couldn’t tell if that was a bad thing as she reflected on the few months they had known each other. She remembered the first morning when Sasha had brought her one of the best lattes she had ever had. Getting off of the train, she subconsciously turned left, away from her office, and towards the Ink! Coffee shop. She walked in a daze. Ordering the two almond lattes and handing the man $8.50, cursing the New York City prices as she did. As she approached her office, the song switched from Tupac to Halsey. The quiet piano beats serenaded her ears as the song started. Shea stayed fairly spaced out until the chorus.  
“Sorry to my unknown lover.”  
She opened the door to the main office, balancing the coffees in her hand as she gave a half-hearted hello to Aja.  
“Sorry that I can’t believe that anybody ever really starts to fall in love with me”  
She was walking through the main area now, already bustling with volunteers and light in the early morning. Phone calls being made curses being thrown at computers, quiet chatter filling the otherwise professional space.  
“Sorry to my unknown lover sorry I could be so blind.”  
Shea pushed the door open to Sasha’s office. Not shocked that the other woman was there, but still a little shocked to see her in the flesh after she had invaded her mind for the last few hours.  
When Sasha woke up, She knew exactly what to think. For the first time a long time, Sasha felt her own thoughts before she felt sensation. She could still feel Shea’s hands around her waist, a friendly ghost in the midst of an otherwise boring night. Sasha couldn’t decide if she regretted it. She did regret kissing her employee on a work night. She had woken up earlier than usual, but feeling more refreshed than she had in weeks, nightmares no longer haunting her mind when she awoke.  
As she got ready, Sasha found her mind set on Shea. She hadn’t been purposely thinking of the other girl in a romantic mindset, per say, but she clearly was interested in her, all the little touches and fleeting moments of eye contact had to mean something. But did Shea even want to be with her? What if this whole thing was just one big misunderstanding, what if Shea thought it was all a mistake?  
As Sasha got dressed, she kept thinking. Pulling up her pencil skirt over her button up she was hit with a thought that left her frozen in her tracks.  
Was she even ready for a relationship?  
After everything that had happened in the last year, was she really ready to stand up and face that sort of heartbreak again? Was she emotionally stable enough to be involved with another person? These thoughts flew through her mind as she threw her work bag over her shoulder, not even remembering to grab the cup of coffee that she had left fixed on the kitchen counter.  
The subway was Sasha’s favorite time. She liked the way she was able to fade into the background of busy world around her, people too invested in their own work, phones, and papers to even care about her. After everything that had happened, it felt nice to fade into the distance for once. She opened the news app on her phone, scrolled through the news of the newest Trump shenanigans before finding an article that left a smile stretched across her painted lips.  
“Taylor expected to win the Democratic primary.”  
It was the little things that counted.  
Sasha was in the office at her normal time, smiling at Aja as she passed by her desk, walking through the main room that would fill with noise in just an hours’ time. She unlocked the door to her office and sat down, starting to get all of her papers in order for the day, as she was organizing last minute activities for her and Shea to get done over the course of the day.  
Shea.  
She hadn’t even realized that she would have to spend all day with Shea. Sasha knew that the last night’s moment between them couldn’t just be ignored all day, the awkwardness of the whole thing too much. Before Sasha could come up with much of game plan, Peppermint was knocking on the door frame. After receiving a quick glance from Sasha, she started talking.  
“The final primary vote is tomorrow.” Sasha smiled at Peppermint and nodded. It was a strange smile, a mix between sad and relieved. After that, Peppermint kept talking.  
“Are we doing an office viewing party?” Sasha nodded, “I think we should. Your place?”  
“Fuck yeah! Where else?” Both of the women laughed, “Sasha, can you send out that email?” Sasha nodded.  
“Right on the captain.” She swiveled her chair to open up her Gmail account. Turning away from peppermint, but that didn’t stop Pepper from shutting Sasha’s door and sitting down in one of the chairs that faced Sasha’s desk.  
“How are you, Sasha?” Peppermint’s voice was gentle but held a sort of firmness to it, signaling that she wouldn’t take anything but an honest answer. The blonde woman sighed as she typed away on her computer. For a couple of moments, Peppermint was unsure if she was going to respond.  
“I’ve been doing a lot better.” Not a lie.  
“Are you sure you don’t need anything?” Sasha shook her head no, but let out a quiet sound of defeat as she did so.  
“What if we don’t win because of me?” It was a fear that Sasha had been holding for a long time, but hadn’t ever brought to her friends, mostly for fear of what they would say. She had mentioned her fear to her therapist at their last session, but instead of giving her the reassurance that she begged for, she instead left her with a soft “stop catastrophizing, Sasha.”  
Peppermint sighed before looking up at Sasha.  
“If we lose, it will not be your fault. I promise you that. In fact, none of this is your fault.” Sasha opened her mouth in protest but was cut off before she could speak.  
“You can’t blame this on yourself forever, Sasha. Sometimes, bad things happen to good people, you can’t live with your guilt forever.” Sasha nodded, not trusting herself to speak, for fear that the tears that were beginning to well up in her ocean eyes would spill over like waves onto the beach and she wouldn’t stop them once she started. With that, Peppermint stood up and walked around to Sasha. Wrapping her arms around the shoulders of the other woman, she placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head and rubbed her arms softly.  
“We have a primary to win babe, get to work.” It was a whisper, a quiet end to their conversation as Peppermint untangled herself from Sasha and returned the other girls small, sad smile.  
“Thank you, Pepper,” Sasha said as she watched the other woman leave. And if Peppermint was listening closely enough, she would’ve heard the “for everything” that escaped Sasha’s lips as her office door shut. Not long after Peppermint had gone, Sasha’s door opened once again. She glanced up to see Shea, work bag casually slung over her shoulder and two cups of coffee in her hand. She did her best to shake off her nerves.  
“Good morning.” Sasha smiled as Shea sat down.  
“Good morning,” Shea didn’t seem to react as quickly as Sasha did as she sat down across from her, “I brought you coffee.” Without saying anything, the other girl graciously accepted, bring it to her lips, red lipstick staining the white top. Shea watched her intently, not sure what she was really looking for.  
“Mmmm, thank you.” Sasha smiled at her once again, lipstick ever so worn around her lips. Shea cursed herself for staring at them for so long before muttering a quick, “no problem.”  
“So,” Sasha said, clapping her hands as Shea began to unpack her work bag, powering on her laptop and setting to down in her lap.  
“We have a primary watch party tomorrow at Peppermint’s house, details in the email I just sent out.” Shea nodded as she took a sip off her coffee.  
“Awesome. So what all do we have today?” Sasha stood up and walked around to Shea’s side of the desk.  
“Mostly, we just have to deal with a last few things with the press to tie up loose ends, and then we’ll be calling people.” Shea nodded as Sasha stood slightly behind her, pointing at the various people Shea needed to email.  
Sasha’s hand was on the back of Shea’s chair to steady herself. She could feel soft cotton of Sasha’s button up against her skin, the hairs on the back of her neck were standing up as she leaned slightly into Sasha’s accidental touch. She nodded to what Sasha was saying, before turning ever so slightly to look at her as she spoke.  
Shea didn’t think she had ever been so close to Sasha before. She meant to listen to what was being said but she was hyper-focused on the way her hair fell ever so slightly into her eyes, blocking her vision.  
Without thinking, She reached one hand up and tucked the strand of hair behind her ear. As she did so, she caressed her hand down Sasha’s face, like her body was on autopilot, she rested her hand on the older woman’s cheek.  
Sasha, unsure of what to do, didn’t resist the touch, but instead leaned into, making eye contact with Shea. Before she could really process what was going on, Shea’s lips were on hers again. It wasn’t like before, their mouths were closed and there was no hunger, it was sweet, slow, caring.  
Shea pulled away. “I… um…. Sorry.” She wasn’t really but, she didn’t know what to say as she continued to stare at Sasha’s face.  
“Don’t be.” Sasha whispered quietly as she connected her lips again, a quiet voice in the back of her mind, whispered, “What the fuck are you thinking, Sasha?”  
She didn’t really know.  
As they pulled away again, Shea whispered breathlessly, her forehead still touching Sasha’s, “Go out with me?” She hadn’t meant for it to sound like a question, but it did. Sasha gave a sad laugh and broke eye contact.  
“I want too, but, when? How?” Shea shrugged, never the realist of the two, as Sasha untangled herself from Shea’s arms and worked her way to the other side of the desk. Shea flipped through ideas in her mind, desperate to make this work.  
“What about tomorrow?” She finally spoke, Sasha looking up at her from her computer. “We could go get dinner before the watch party or something?” Sasha smiled at her.  
“I would love that.”  
The energy in the room was undeniably different. A certain sort of electricity seemed to vibrate between the two women as they made calls, sent emails, and tried to prepare for the make or break moment of the next day. Sasha found herself staring at Shea as she spoke, eyes focused on her the other women’s collarbones that rested just above the neckline of her bright tank top, which stop out vividly against her dark skin. Her hair tied up in a soft bun was fighting against its constraints and was falling out in little curls every time she would shake her head. Sasha couldn’t help and admire just how beautiful she was.

…

The primary was a terrifying concept, nobody could deny that fact. But when Shea woke up the next morning, she wasn’t near as scared as she thought she would feel. Sure, it could all end that night: her job, her new friends, but instead, she thought about Sasha first and foremost.  
Sasha was fucking scared when she woke up. She had spent her evening at her therapist's office, trying to simultaneously unpack her fear of a new potential relationship and her fear of losing. When she left the office, she had more questions than she did solutions, but she felt the best she had in a long time.  
When Shea entered the office that morning, she wasn’t greeted with the regular: Aja sitting at her desk and complaining, or a bustling volunteer room. Instead, the reception area was empty, but the main room was filled with balloons and donuts, the main girls-- Peppermint, Aja, Farrah, Trinity, and of course, Sasha-- sat in a circle, eating and laughing. Farrah was the first to notice Shea and jumped up with a squeal when she saw her, running over to greet her with a hug. Shea laughed at Farrah’s constant energy and went to sit down, noticing how Peppermint scooched over to make room for Shea next to Sasha. As Shea grabbed a donut and sat down, Peppermint gave her a quick over the shoulder hug. For a while, the girls all sat and talked, ignoring the events of the night and the world around them. They laughed at Trinity (“How are you going to smile when you win with so much botox in your face?” Aja had smirked as she questioned Trinity, who was “practicing her winning smile.”) and Peppermint fulfilled her true mother role (“Are you sure that none of you have any food allergies? Positive?”)  
As the conversation moved on, Sasha found herself sinking into Shea’s side, the girls arm thrown lazily across the top of the coach, Sasha ever so slightly snuggled into her side. Sasha felt warm, safe, surrounded by friends and maybe by something more, her mind wasn’t haunted with fear or moments of paranoia, for those moments, it felt like the voices in her head had finally shut off, and she felt undeniably, incredibly, and irrevocably, home.  
Shea didn’t always notice things, she always believed in her heart over her head, but she couldn’t help but notice the way Sasha had sunk into her, she noticed how it felt right, like two pieces of a puzzle stuck together and she didn’t try to fight it. Shea, who had always been a little bit of an outsider, didn’t feel like she needed to change anything to fit in: not her hair, or her voice, or the way she dressed. She felt warm, she felt loved, and she felt safe. Shea couldn’t deny that she felt undeniably, incredibly, and irrevocably, home.

…

Shea took a deep breath as she wiped her left hand on the bottom of her denim skirt, her right hand wrapped tighter around the flowers in her hand. She wondered for a moment if it was too much as she approached Sasha’s door, but what could she say? She would always rather have done too much than not enough. She raised her hand to knock on the door, breeze tugging at her white tank top. She heard footsteps on the other side of the door, and she reached up to tug slightly at her diamond choker. She looked the most casual she had since early June but decided to worry about it too much.  
When Sasha opened her door, Shea felt all of the air get sucked out of lungs. She was wearing a high necked halter top that fit her perfectly, tucked into a black circle skirt. Shea stuttered for a moment, but Sasha did the same as she took in the sight of Shea, eyes finally falling on the flowers Shea held in one hand.  
“Hi.” Shea smiled, “These are for you.” Sasha took them from the other girl's outstretched hand and smiled, nobody had ever actually bought her flowers before.  
“Thank you,” She smiled back at Shea, both girls hearts skipping a beat as she did so.  
“I’m going to put these in water and we can go, yeah?” Shea nodded as Sasha stepped back into her apartment.  
“You can come in,” Sasha added as she stepped back in, Shea following her into Sasha’s space. Sasha’s apartment looked exactly like Shea would’ve imagined it. Although the walls were white, They were adorned with all types of art, the furniture was bright blues and yellows and there was a bright geometric carpet against the light wood floors. Shea smiled at the easel that was up against the wall. She had always known that Sasha was a painter, but the bright colors and the easel gave Shea a whole new sense of the other woman. You can always tell a lot about somebody from the way they paint. She watched as Sasha placed the flowers gently into a vase on her kitchen counter before Sasha turned back to Shea.  
“You ready?” Shea nodded and extended her arm towards Sasha, who took it gracefully as the pair made their way out of the apartment and onto the busy Brooklyn street. They made small talk on their way to the restaurant, a small Italian place called Piccoli Trattoria. It was small inside, and their were very few people, a purposeful choice, the two girls had decided that the fewer people there, the better.  
Sasha tried not worry about the primary that people were still voting in or the way that her heart skipped a beat every time Shea laughed, but it was hard not too. As their food came, the two girls stayed entrenched in conversation as they learned things about each other workplace conversations would never facilitate.  
Shea had three older siblings, two older brothers and a younger sister who was still in high school.  
Shea really loved basketball.  
Shea was actually really good at science, namely biology.  
Sasha moved to Illinois from Russia when she was four years old.  
Sasha wanted to get in her Ph.D. in Political Science but stopped after her masters.  
Sasha’s favorite book was Beloved by Toni Morrison.  
Without checking the time, the pair ordered a slice of Tiramisu and ignored the TV blaring primary predictions. After they paid, they headed off to Peppermint’s apartment hand in hand. “It’s really not that far.” Sasha laughed as Shea stares wistfully at the subway stations they were passing.  
“Maybe like ten minutes.” Shea nodded to that, holding Sasha’s hand tighter.  
“How did you and Peppermint even meet?” Shea asked curiously, thinking back to dinner when Sasha has pointed out that Peppermint got her job with Trinity.  
“We met right when I had first moved down to the city, I was at an art show that was meant to feature queer artists, and she was one of the volunteers. We met there and then just sorta hit it off, I guess. And then, she managed to get me my job. Which was pretty easy, considering she interviewed me.” They both laughed as Sasha opened the door to the apartment you made. Smiling at Sasha as they stepped into the elevator, Shea watched as Sasha pushed the six button. As the door closed, Shea pressed her lips against Sasha’s again. Wrapping her arms around either side of the handrails on the elevator, she was able to trap Sasha in her arms, the other girl wrapped both her arms around Shea’s neck, casually running her fingers through the other girl's hair, which was down for once. They pulled away from each other right before the elevator door opened, smiling at one another before exiting, Shea followed Sasha to Peppermints door, wistfully thinking about holding the other girls hand again, but knowing it wasn’t the right time.  
Their time together was over, in a sense, Shea knew that. Now it was time to do their job, to worry about Trinity, and to solely work friends. The world the two women had created in the last few hours had broken, and Shea was faced with the reality of her situation again, as Peppermint opened the door and smiled, pulling Shea and Sasha into a hug before quickly pushing them into the room. Peppermint’s apartment felt like home. Earth tones wrapped the girls up in the smell of cinnamon and cotton. It felt like Shea was entering her mother’s house. The two girls sat down on the couch next to Aja and Farrah, who smiled at them, Aja high fived them both because “she didn’t want to get up” while Farrah just waved and squeaked out a “hi.’ Finally, once everybody was settled Peppermint turned on the T.V. flipping it to the nearest news channel.  
“When will we know?” Aja asked.  
“In about 5 minutes, they’ll announce the Republican candidate first, and then we’ll find out.”  
Sasha could feel her heart in her throat again, but not like before. Before, she had been Shea, heart beating to the thoughts of her lips, her laugh, and their time together, a happy sort of anxiety. Now, she was terrified, everything that she had worked so hard for the few years could all be gone in an instant and there was nothing that anybody could do to stop it.  
Sasha drowned out the sound of the Republican candidate, trying to instead focus on her breathing as newscaster started her next segment, the video of the Republican, Eureka O’Hara accepting her nomination flipped back to the newsroom.  
Sasha grabbed Shea’s free hand, right as Peppermint grabbed her other hand. The five woman sat there, hands all intertwined with one another as the news lady reminded them of the three Democratic candidates.  
The T.V. changed once again to the state capitol, where Trinity, sat next to the other candidates, Kim and Thorgy, as the current governor stop up the podium once again, first starting with words of thanks for the term he had served, he finally picked up the envelope in his hand.  
“And your 2018 democratic candidate for Governor of New York is…”  
The room was silent, aside from the sound of heaving breathing as the girls waited for the results.  
“Trinity Taylor.”


End file.
